Picture Perfect

It's quite amazing how many hoops you have to jump through these days, just to get an unpaid internship somewhere.

One organisation wants a side of A4 on why I'm the best person for the job, in addition to a standard covering letter, CV and interview. But who has this sort of time, before you even know you're being considered for the unpaid job? It's one thing to say "hey, we liked your application and want an interview with you, but before that, give us an A4 on why you're good for the job" - because at least then you know you've got something coming to you and your efforts won't be in vain: you know for sure that at the end of that side of A4, which if done properly should take around an hour to complete, there will be a job interview. But before this stage, there's no telling whether you'll be accepted or rejected, so it doesn't make good sense to me to fill out that application form before others. Why invest more time on something which could potentially fail, rather than using the time to further your chances by applying to two organisations (or making further progress on another application), increasing your chances of getting an interview by 50%? Afterall, someone once said to be successful, you have to double your rate of failure: entirely correct, in my opinion.

Ah, but, I hear some people say, this is what looking for a job is all about: get stuck in! Stop being so lazy!
To these sorts of people I say two things: first, no, this is not the way it's always been. written tests, psychological testing, handwriting reading, these are all vestiages of the last decade and a half. And lazy? Anyone who is seriously looking for a job is probably not that lazy.

It's just that, when you're looking through job ads, sorting through what you can and can't do and what's paid, unpaid, expenses paid; then when you finally find something you can do, it's time to research a company. The research should take 40 minutes - look through their site, see what they do, how they describe themselves, who their clients/members/patients are, that sort of thing. Then, there's the cover letter, which always takes ages because it incorporates all the information from the research, whilst also imparting enough about you to make them think they should read your CV, which, btw you've obviously tailored to their firm. A health magazine might be interested to know you've volunteered at a loal hospital for 8 months in addition to your journalism experience, but an editorial position in a law magazine is more interested in your law degree and volunteering at a local solicitor or CAB office. And you can't just stick them both in to one CV and hope for the best, it has to be done properly: someone reading the CV wants to know you can do the job, not how amazing you are for volunteering in loads of different places for loads of different causes.

All told, a single application, if done properly, should take about 1 hour 50 minutes:
40 mins research the company;
40 mins writing up a cover letter of less than a single A4 side;
20 mins tailoring CV to that firm;
10 mins to check the whole thing over before sending off. Especially being aware that you attached your CV to your e-mail (If you haven't and sent off another e-mail with it attached afterwards, I've learned it's not the end of the world. I've still been offered an interview to two places (the only two places) I accidentally did that with).

These times are minimums in my opinion.

Anyway, the latest thing to hit my inbox was to offer me an interview, but also a 40 minute test on why I want to join the organisation and other questions of the sort, and a half hour interview with the editor and deputy editor. All before giving me an unpaid job.

Why is it so hard?! It shouldn't be. I'm doing them a favour: a college educated graduate working for free. Ok, so I get to put it on my CV when looking for paid jobs, but really. If this is what trying to get an unpaid job is like, I wonder what they make you go through if you request that you would like to be paid for your services.

I should have just become a plumber.

Kindergarten, 6 years of primary school and 7 years of grammar school education, 1 year abroad studying theology and now going to a prestigious university studying law. In all, 17 years of full-time education by the time I'm done with university. What do I want to do with it? Any of the following:

1) Become a smallholder. Now that's the dream. I'll buy me a few acres of land in the country, build me a lil' house'o'wood and get some goats, hens, horses and other such things. 

2)  Become a plumber. These fellows are in demand big-time and make a decent living. There's also something far more satisfying in doing work with your hands than sitting at a computer all day.

2) Become an electrician. If I did this, I would be following in the footsteps of my grandfather, who was also an electrician (interestingly, my grandad on the other side of my family graduated from an English university as a civil engineer).  The same reasons as the above.

2) Become a journalist. As you can see, this too holds joint second place. I'm just torn, people, entirely torn. Journalism is great and if you're with the right people, gives you the chance to influence thins politically, socially and culturally without being a celebrity or politician. Having left-wing tendancies, I'm all for the simple life and power does not appeal to me so much, despite my frequent claims to world domination - and so this position is great. I include this in the catagory of 'writer' and I may already have an idea or two on the shelf...

3+4) Advertising/PR or Sales. This is great and up until recently I had the idea in my head that I was going to intern a massive company during the summer. Unfortunately, despite saying they did, they didn't have any advertising/sales/PR positions - they had loads which included an engineering degree, something I don't have, but oh well.

5) Law. You must be wondering why this is so low on the list, especially considering my university education. I first thought I wanted to be a lawyer since I was 17, but even then I lamented this fate. Don't get me wrong, law is a great subject to study (though parts will bore you to death, as with anything) but to practise? I don't know.

The main thing that bothers me about law is the amount of work and the amount of hours. The next thing which bothers me, once coming to terms with that, are any morally-grey positions you're presented with in the course of the job. Obviously, the practise of law is not exactly like on TV, so no great-looking blonde women accused of multiple homicides turn up to a small hovel of a law firm who happen to have an amazingly bright law-student interning there, who uncovers an entire scam to frame this poor woman who has been robbed of many riches, who ultimately did kill her husband but not the 12 people with him, although she has a fling with the law student who gets her acquitted of all charges afterwhich she disappears with an appropriately large sum of money, never to be heard from again - except in a single letter directing the law student to a small pot of cash burried in a field somewhere to thank him for his untiring work which, though misdirected, got her acquitted.

No, none of that.

Whatever I do, I hope it'll lead to dream number one, being the owner of a reasonably productive smallholding. On this land I'll have a lake with a nice forest area, in absence of this forest area I shall plant it around part of the lake. This goes back to my very first post, written around three-and-a-half years ago, stating:

        "seeing as the only reason I pursue education is to be able to provide sustenance for myself and one day, I hope, a wife and children, I may as well ditch education here and now, find my "one true love," elope to a far away forest, live on nothing but sludge and grass roots, and write poetry on the sad condition of the human race."

Could I ever realise this dream, minus sludge and grass roots? The best thing about it all is Cat's up for this, minus sludge and grass roots...

Who knows? I'll let you know as my life develops!