Picture Perfect

So politics has taken over my blog, the radios, TV, billboards, and my orange juice carton. As the electorial committee say, "If you don't do politics, there's not much you do do" (which americans should find hillarious).

Anyway, As you cannot fail to realise, I am fully behind the blues. The reds have been very bad. very, very bad people. I'm sure we all recognise this.

As soon as Blair says "I will do....." I think to myself, "but you haven't have you, you lying scumbag! In fact, you haven't much positive things to show for the past 8 years" - Tony Blair, no doubt, has been on the forefront of British and international politics - and leading us to decline.

Here, Sir Lord DJ Esquire, the political home correspondant for DJ broadcastings, asks Tony Blair some vital qusetions. As always, to hear it, press the link before each paragraph:

File one
It's a pleasure to meet you again Prime Minister.
-- Statistically speaking, more people are pleased to see me, than an ape bearing it's teeth.

Thats...interesting.
-- Yes. I rather think so myself.

I was actually hoping to ask you some questions about some of your policies...
-- I will be glad to answer anything you pose to me.

Thank you. Many Britons are worried about environmental issues within Britain. You claim you wish to reduce pollution to pre-1994 levels by 2010, but why hasn't the labour party been doing anything up until now, about it?
-- The New Labour party has been involved in anti-pollution measures for the past 8 years.


File two
Aha, well, the statistics I have here say--
--STATISTICALLY speaking, Labour have improved leaf quality on several thousand trees throughout the UK, have given a new lease of life to various species of grasses, and have created safe havens for house flies everywhere.

Isn't the house fly....common? Does it really need conservation?
-- Talking of conservation, the Conservative party will not dedicate themselves to the conservation of the Womble fruit bat!

Does that even exist?
-- Ohh...it exists...it exists...as do the weapons of mass destruction.

File three
Ahh.....right...that's another issue I was hoping to bring up. Many people have lost faith in the Labour party due to the Iraq war, and how it was presented to the public. How is labour coping with this?
-- The polls say we're winning. Statistically speaking.

Ok. Back to the environment, I would like to know what methods of pollution-free energy sources Labour backs.
-- Farms.

Farms?
-- Yes. Farms. Farms and farms of windmills...some people think they're noisy, but statistically speaking, they are less noisy than ever before.

Are they noisy?
-- No. Yes. Well. Maybe just a little.

File four
Aha, I see. The UKIP are considering nuclear power. Is this a viable alternative to noisy mills?
-- The Labour party will have nothing to do with nuclear power! We entered Iraq to save the world from Saddam's nuclear power, and we shall not stand for it in our own backyard!

Thank you. That's all for today. This is Sir Lord DJ Esquire, reporting for DJ Broadcasts, at 10 Downing Street. Good afternoon.
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The question to ask now, my dear children, friends, accomplacies in the bank heist we did the other day, random web viewers, and other estranged people living in remote areas of the world (like Scotland) is, do we really want this maniac in power with his clowning around party for another 4 or 5 years? No sir. No sir we do not.

Look out for the experimental professional reader-outerer-of-posts!!

It appears to me my current design is absolutely perfect.

That is, if you're a 15-year-old girl. I mean, take a look at my new logo over here

I am neither 15 years old, nor a female. Therefore, the new design is far from perfect. It is too...'ow you say? passé. feminine. C'est ne pas bon, bien sur. Alors, un moment svp pour moi a changé ma blog a quelquefois qui est superbe, pour moi.

damn.
This french service is getting to me. Ok ok.

Erm. Yeah. So. My design will be changing shortly (say, a month or so) - yes, a month or so. Because I can't be bothered to change the design. It took a while to figure out what, exactly, to do to change the code to get those pictures up, and it took a long time to design the things. So if you don't like them. I don't care. Because (even if it is girly) it's cool for now. Anyway, I may tamper with the colour scheme from time to time (this involves changing just 5 bits of code maximum, as opposed to redesigning graphics, touching them up, and then changing several more bits of code on top of this said 5).

So how you see it is how it stays for now.

To hear this part of the live interview, click here.

And now we go to Tony Blair.

Tony, what can you tell us about your position on the European Constitution?
-Statistically, we have put MORE policemen on the beat, there are MORE nurses and doctors than ever before under a Tory gov't!

I see. But what about the European Constitution? Is it true that if we sign up to this new constitution Britain will cease functioning as an independant state?
-Crime is at an all time low!

Yes, yes, Mr. Blair. Sure. Moving on.

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Below: more of the interview.
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The Tories have said they're going to save £35 billion, saved from waste purchases and other gov't spending. How much do you propose to save?
--The Tory gov't, for their last 18 years, drained the NHS of resources, and left it lagging behind. Statistically speaking, we have improved all services in the health sector by 12.0987% which is 3% more than any other Tory government!


Below.

Right. Erm. About taxes. Will we see a vast rise in them, and who will be hit hardest? It's no secret the Liberal Democrats would increase taxes for high earners by 50%, does labour have any similar plans?
--Would you like a cup of tea?

No, thank you. About taxes.
--Yes, what about them?

Will they increase?
--I'm sorry, I've forgotten your question! But the NHS will be--

yes, yes, I know. But taxes Mr. Blair. Will they or will they not increase?
-- Michael Howard WILL have to increase taxes, as their fiscal policy is NOT VIABLE!

Oh, for heaven's sake, answer the question man!
-- What question?

And there we have it, ladies and gentleman. This is Sir Lord DJ Esquire, DJ Broadcastings home correspondant, from 10 Downing Street. Good night.

So I'm deciding on a new design.
Bear with me.

The above will be my new logo!! :-) It has replace the "My life on the edge" title text which was above.

My blog is currently looking very effeminate. This is because this was the only colours I could get, for now. Further editing of the CSS should render the blues slightly bluer, and therefore more inline with the initial statement I was making: blue is the colour of the Conservatives, and therefore my blog.

I have had a long political diatribe with Ant D. This means that if you're uninterested in UK politics, or are actually trying to avoid being depressed, look away now!

Here are a few arguments which I feel are misunderstood, and thus I put them here for ellucidation.

They are thus, in order:

Home policies
£35 billion cuts
Income Tax, Council Tax
Taxes under Labour
NHS under Conservatives
Immigration laws

World
World Poverty


The Euro
The European Constitution

£35 billion cuts
No, this does not mean that Conservative will cut service spending by £35 billion, as the run-of-the-mill labour supporter will have everyone believe, and as they, no doubt, believe themselves.

This misundrestood issue means the following:
Conservatives, if elected, will increase spending on services, but at a rate of £35 billion less than a labour gov't.

The remaining £35 billion will be used as tax breaks.

This means Britons will receive the rewards of the current (sordid) public services, with improvements, AND get tax breaks too. This is surely a win-win situation.
Labour will, of course, continue to increase taxes to subsidise any improvements which will be vastly overpaid for, and take far too long to actually complete.

Income Tax and Council Tax

Council Tax
The Lib Dems call for a local income tax to replace this. This is good for anyone who doesn't employ anyone else.
The Greens call for a reformation of the Council Tax. Note, that Lib Dems also support a 50% increase in taxes for high earners (£100,000+).

The Raving Loony Party, in all their wisdom, have the following to say about Income Tax, and I agree entirely with them:

Our team of experts has decided that Income Tax has not proved popular with the public and will therefore be abolished. It was [originally] started in order to finance the Napoleonic war in 1799 and we now believe that the time is right to announce the cessation of hostilities with Napoleon.

Taxes under Labour

The labour government like statistics. They will quote you statistics for all sorts of things. I believe entirely in their capacity to quote you statistics that the majority of the time when the sun is risen, it is night, and when the moon is up, statistically, it is day.

Any labour supporter will tell you that Labour have decreased tax, certainly not risen it, over the past 8 years. This is not entirely true. Whilst tax directly payable to the gov't has been decreased or unchanged, they have introduced what is known as "strealth tax." This means they have increased other taxes payable to the government, in order to fund those other decreases in tax, and to raise more tax. In actual terms, the money imparted by the average Brit to the government has increased, not decreased.

Remember Conservatives are using £35 billion for tax decreases... ;-)

NHS under Conservtives

The Conservatives will give 50% of an NHS operation to those who wish to go private for that same operation. This is actually a good policy, considering the double standards of the NHS. Typically, a patient going private will receive better dental and general health care, than someone undergoing the same treatment on the NHS.

Whilst I personally thinkg either the NHS should be abolished entirely (not ideal) or going private should be abolished entirely (ideal) to cut down on this blatant unfairness and double-standards, this is a nice step to more affordable privitisation for those who wish it, but can't shoulder all the costs.

Of course, going private means no long waiting lists: another bonus in addition to actual good health care.

Britain is currently the 5th best nation to receive health care from. This is a travesty - we are underneath Spain! Spain, of all people! Britain should be second only to the USA.

Open question to you: Is the NHS viable, or is it a failure, waiting to happen? Note also the superbug.

Immigration laws

Labour have promised to decrease the numbers of assylum seekers to Britain. They have not committed to a number. Note that Assylum seekers are no longer choosing Britain as their preffered choice of country anymore. It's too rubbish for them now. Instead, they prefer the USA and France, who both have higher standards of living than the UK (The Times Group paper).

Conservatives, hailed as racist by some, fascist by others, have said that they would decrease immigration to Britain. I believe this will affect one UN law (Britain being a founding member of the UN, I doubt anyone will mind, with the possible exception of the USA - but then again, the USA do owe us a favour or ten for the middle east wars. Good thing we're allies, eh. The worst thing that will happen is that there will be general political mutterings against the UK for a day or so).

Limiting immigration is not racist. It is a case of numbers and ratios. Britain can't keep up quality services with the amount of immigrants present, and predicted for the next few years. The NHS is under obvious strain.

Howards has nothing against anyone from any other country, proof of which being his parent's were immigrants themselves (although when his parents came to the UK, they had to sit a written English exam to prove they could communicate in English sufficiently, and had no state-aided funds - funds are currently awarded to immigrants, as is housing, and the English test is no longer a requirement. They also no longer have to prove they can get a job or place to live - the state will give them a house, and give them money if they're not employed).

Everything described in the brackets above has become a severe strain on the resources of the UK. Other issues include the free NHS service. The effect is that we are now short of housing to give people, the NHS waiting list is longer, quality of service is therefore undermined to shorten the lists, and Britain, in general, is being exploited by people. I do not attack or blame anyone for doing so: good for them. If I were in an immigrant's position, i'd do exactly the same thing: exploit the British government and the British people for my own ends.

It is up to the British to close any gaps and exploitation holes which are there, if not, they will be exploited to our detrament.

Again, this has nothing to do with race, but is simply reducing the numbers of people who receive these benefits, as we can no longer afford to give them away at the current rate at which we are doing now.

I would personally give priority of NHS and council housing and any other benefits to Britain citizens (of course, people come especially to Britain for free medical checks under the NHS rather than paying for it elsewhere). I would also like to see a party who would re-introduce English - the official language - as a requirement for immigration.

I would like to see proof of employment oppertunities, and I would like to see the abolition of re-training schemes (for the present) for skilled immigrants who come to England (currently, a doctor trained in, say, Lebanon, will have to re-train in England if s/he wishes to continue to practise. I believe this is an insane measure to keep, when their health service although well below our own, is only so due to lack of resources and not medical technique. This would give a healthy influx of doctors to the NHS).

One more thing on this.
BNP support is growing, especially in the north. One major reason is due to immigration.

It is high time the mainstream parties stop avoiding the question of immigration, as by doing so they are driving more support to extremists who will answer the question, but in a harsh manner no one cares to see.
I am glad the Conservatives have taken the mature step to committing to answer this question, before racism increases to uncontrolable levels in this country, and racial tensions increasing due to "those immigrants taking my housing and job."

The conservatives aren't racist. They are, if anything, preventing real racism.

Summary of my view (just so i dont get any comments along the lines of "you racist bastard!" :-( )
Britain is not equipped to deal with immigration at it's current level. Until such a time they are, it should be cut to more realistic levels.

UKIP Similar views to the Conservatives.
Lib Dems Would issue a quota on non-EU immigrants (meaning someone can apply for EU citizenship in, say, Turkey, then come to England as a Turkish citizen and THEN exploit the free-ness of the system. All it means is one more stop. Unless they are from Turkey anyway).
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World Poverty

Labour believe that the UK should cancel debts from the poorer countries, owing to England.

The Conservatives support this take in principal. They emphasise free-trade and a reduction in global poverty, however.

The LibDems' have a policy of 'A World Free From Poverty' (not mentioned on their manifesto). They support the issue, no doubt.

UKIP remain silent. The UKIP has fascist links. In line with slightly fascist views, I conjecture that they would not cancel the debts, or would cancel some but not all debt, or decrease or suspend interest rates on the debts.
Whatever they'd do, I think they'd want some if not all the cash.

Greens support debt cancellation.
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The Euro: Should Britain take it?
I am personally a firm supported of the Monster Raving Loony take on this issue. They propose to, and I quote from their manifesto located on their official website: "we will invite other European nations to adopt the pound."

Sheer genius from Alan "Howling Laud" Hope.

Failing this, here are the issues surrounding this now-little referred to policy:

The consultancy KPMG put the total cost of conversion at £51 billion, based on responses from 300 firms that estimate the cost to them of £30 million each. Incidentally, the House of Commons Trade and Industry Committee (which has a Labour Majority) attacked the government for ignoring the issue of euro transitional costs.

Retail costs for making the changeover to the euro at around 2.5% of turnover, with smaller firms suffering disproportionately high costs. Naturally, all these costs - and other inconveniences - will be borne by consumers (Source: British Retail Consortium evidence to the parliamentary Trade and Industry committee of MPs, 25 July 2000. If you don't know what that means, I assure you it is a very good source.)

Euro economic failings

The Euro's main objective, freely admitted by its key architects, is a political one - the further integration of the EU into a federal state (Former Bank of England Governor Eddie George, speaking at the British-Swiss Chamber of Commerce in Basel, Switzerland, 12 September 2000).

This basically means that the Euro is by no means a well-though out economic theory which will benefit Europeans. It is a project which will be pressed on with, regardless of the economic suggestions of it on millions of Europeans, to "integrate Europe further." This means no one gives a toss about anyone's economic stability once they've joined the Euro, they will keep with it to make a "united states of europe" (similar comments were made by The Economist, 24 January 1998).

Summary of Euro
Ok. So. The Euro will have inverse economic effects on us, will cost a bomb to use anyway, and once joined up, no one care much about our local situation - as long as it doesn't effect them too much.

This means that the massive economies of France (largest European landmass, incidentally) and Germany, whom are currently engaged in a fierce battle for superiority, would usurp the British trade and therefore economy, making Britain's economy subversive to their own, thereby limiting the actual turnover made by Britain, thereby having inverse economic effects on us, the consumers. That basically means our money will buy less, we'll have less of it, and we'll therefore be poorer. Why would anyone in their right minds commit to this?! I fail to see how the advantages of "european integration" outweighs the economic implications...
Labour: Will change to the Euro when the opinion polls change in their favour (74% of all commerce in Britain currently are against the euro).
Conservative&UKIP: Will join when hell freezes over.
Lib Dems: Firm supporters of the Euro.

Further reading
More information at: http://www.eurofaq.freeuk.com/eurofaq2.html#Q21.4 <-- very good informative site with brilliant sources. Much but not all information displayed here was nicked indirectly or directly from there. A must see site.
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European Constitution

--The EC attempts to join the European nations into something like a Federal state. This means all EU directives, laws, opinions, and anything with a stamp saying "EU" on it, will over-ride any national parliament. The EC is strictly undemocratic, and is more of a totalitarian "Federal state."

This is because, aside from there being no actual european people, the president of the EU will not be elected by the people of europe, and once appointed, the president will stay there until his death, assasination or deposition. It will be a permanent job. Same applies to the EU Foreign minister.

--The suspension of British membership as a Permanent Member of the UN Security Council, should the EU require it - loose terms. This means Britain may be suspended at any given time, for whatever reason, as long as the majority of EU leaders support it. That basically means Germany and France.

--The creation of an open-ended "division of powers" meaning that, in many areas, EU member states will only be able to act if the EU has chosen not to. Britain will able to legislate in the fields of agriculture, fishing, justice, transport, energy, social policy and the environment only if the EU choses "not to exercise its competence."

--Article I-10 gives the constitution and EU law "primacy over the law of member states."
Confirmation that all Britons (and nationals of other EU states) are citizens of the EU. (The duties of citizens are not defined.)

Doesn't look to good does it? It isn't.

Oh. By the way. Only 27 of the 275 proposed British amendments to the Constitution were accepted, despite Tony Bliar's claim that "We, the British, have won everything we've wanted" (Statement to House of Commons, 21st June 2004).

Further reading:
http://www.eurofaq.freeuk.com/constitution/constitution_frame.html

The Constitution, you will discover, can take away Britain's North Sea oil reserves, levy taxes, take into control our rates, etc. etc. etc.

Britain has been screwed over by the EU for so long, it's incredible we're still in it. When Thatcher agreed to be in the EU, it was presented as a Free Trade thing only. It's grown a lot since then. Britain invests millions in the EU (the most famous is Britain's payment to the French farmers along the west of France, who can't produce enough crop to sell and actually make any money with it. Instead of packing up, or joining in conglomerates, we pay for their upkeep. I also have a nagging suspicion that Britain receives the lowest-possible grade of food under EU directives. Go to France for a day and try their grapes, cheese, tomatoes, or any other product. Then come back to England and taste the difference. There's no way to actually prove this, but...I invite everyone, next time they're on holiday, to try it ;-)

Summary
Britain will own nothing which it currently owns - we're talking about assets here, such as oil.
Anything Britain wants to do within it's own borders, will first have to be run through the EU to ensure it doesn't contravene any EU laws. Britain is only allowed to make laws if the EU chooses it doesn't want to make laws for us. This means Britain looses all democracy, as the national, people-elected gov't is over-ridden by the non elected president and ministers of the EU. Oh. And all documentation as to the economics goings-on of Europe are not viewable to anyone. I wonder why.

The Euro and EC means Britain will have ceased to exist as a separate territory. This basically means Britain will be under "domination" of the strongest economic power in europe (Germany, I believe. Although France is pretty nifty. Do you really want to be ruled by the Germans and French in your own country? Not I).

Labour and the LibDems: Heavy support for the EC.
Tories, Greens and UKIP : Will join when the armageddom comes. Bit late then of course...

I am absolutely asstounded at this Labrador Huntress' internet classes.
I have always been astounded and, observed with bemused curiosity, any type of internet class.
This is because it's so far from what I am used to - the British gov't are yet to pass laws formally legalising online schools in place of actual buildings.

Regardless what I think about this, this idea of "internet schooling" has inspired me. At first, I was so narrow minded as to only think about the jokes I could make about it here. But I've grown since then. You will shortly be able to hear me speak some of my blogs out, saving you the labour of actually reading it.

If this gains support, that is. You see, you, the readership, control this blog. What you want goes into it.

....
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Ok. That couldn't even persuade the most gullable of you.
I talk about what I want, how I want, when I want in any manner I want. And if you don't like it, so I always say, you know where the door is. This is because it's my blog, my thinkings, and...well. Just me. This is the place I can be egocentric and be excused for it. This is the one time I can jabber on about me, and countless people will listen to me, without thinking it weird that i'm doing it. With a few exceptions. But. Not the point.

It so happens that now, you have the oppertunity to comment on what should go in the blog.
So I'm holding a little poll. All those in favour of voice-enabled posts, say something to that effect. All those not in favour of it, say something to that effect too.
And if in doubt, it was my my idea first, and someone else stole it!

Now for the cheap jokes. I had much fun in recording these.
**WARNING**
If you are weak hearted or Canadian, please realise that these files are all tongue-in-cheek. It's not real. It's not meaningful. It didn't actually happen, and any views expressed in these files are not my own. It's a joke. It's a satire. It's supposed to be funny. If you wish to send abuse to the author of these files, the author is me. So do comment in my comments section. Thank you.

So, these two files are about what internet lessons may sound like. There's also a dodgy British medic in one of them. So listen out for that....

History lesson on the internet:
class1
class2
class3
(the above are part of all the same file, just cut in three parts).

Half monthly check up (cut version. funnier, imho).

I have something to confess.

I'm very, very bored.
I'm bored of everything and everyone.

Everything is boring, unstimulating. I've either done it all before, or know that there's not much point in doing it, and when i do do something, it is, as i said, not very stimulating. No matter what it is. Except procrastination. This is something I'm very good at. On the other hand, I am a bit bored of that too: it is pointless. Has no purpose after a while. It leads to nothing. Nudda. Zero. Etc. (well, I guess that's most of my readership thinking in their minds "whoa. I'm doing nothing now and it's pointless. *re-thinks life* whoa. mind blowing").

Everyone is boring, because people are wholly predictable. You know what someone's reaction will be to something. You know what will happen, if you do xyz. Therefore, everything they say and do, is already known, and it's not that profound either.

Yes, this post is boring. I register this. And if anyone leaves a comment saying "only boring people are bored" i will hunt you down, and say "no i'm not" before walking off calmly in the other direction. Or worse. I'll find some Jehovahs witnesses to preach to you. Forevermore.

In short, dear children, although there is, generally, a lot of things happening in my sector of existance I like to call "my life" it is mostly boring for me, though it may be new. Yes. Do I then qualify to be in the "bored intellectual class" (intellectual solely because I run a blog and go to school) which E.M.Forster warned us about in such social novels as "Howard's End" and the sorry existance of mankind in an internet-like age in "The Machine Stops?" I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make a difference (and before you say: "whoa, this dude has a lot of boredom-ness, apathy and general indifference" - that was a quote from Einstein, I'll have you know. So there. *sticks out tongue*)

A google search (bless the gods of the ineternet which is google) reveals the following article on apathy which looks slightly more interesting than staring at a blank screen (which is what I propose to do after writing this) but slightly less interesting than this post (meaning it's sufficiently boring for you, the reader, to not want to read that article, but instead continue on reading this post).

I've just skimmed part of the article. It appears to me, that it's total bull. Why? It says we are reduced to "observers" who "are entertained" by certain goings-on such as "electoral events" and "political campaigns" where "politicians are trained, like actors, to behave in a certain way to appeal to voters" - connecting apathy to poltical methods of gaining support is not the strongest of links considering 1) voting happens once every 4/5 years, (2) most of the proposed group of people for whom are apathetic - 18-24 - have never voted before in their lives, and are just about to do so in the UK/just done so in America (3) American and UK politics are conducted differently: whilst American politicians jump about like monkeys to gain votes, politicians in the UK are content to lie, slag off the opposition on well placed bill-boards in the public highways and that's just about it, really (not taking into account press meetings: hardly monkeying about).

Therefore, the link to politics is tenuous, not really existant, and wholly unreliable. In short, they're clutching at straws. Also. If entertainment is sought after, apathetic ones such as myself would receive solace in an entertaining game, novel, etc: there is none. It's all boring. All be done, and all repeated. 'Twas Solomon who said "All is futile" and "There is nothing new under the sun" - now I know exactly what he meant.

Therefore, I rest my case that the afforementioned article is a load of bull made up by some...well. I don't like to swear.

Anyway. My pillow (brought up by chaos fairy in a recent comment) is...well...meh. I'm getting used to it. Here is a picture of me and my pillow.

And so, I leave you with three questions:

1) What?
2) Why?
3) and for whom?

The best answers will receive acknowledgement in the form of a post, a "well done" and a possible link to their site from here.

Vote labour. Because life can't get much worse with them.
Everyone else can vote conservative because their policies are harsher, but shrewder, and therefore more helpful to services in the long term. Yeah. So. Erm. That's it. I guess. Bye. For now.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To die. In the rain. Alone. (Ernst Hemingway, and me.)

Try going to bed, on average, at 2:30am. For 3 months. Picture that?
Try that for 6 months.
Now 12 months.

Now try going to bed at 2:30am, every night, on average, for 2 years.

Yes, my children. This is what I suppose I've been doing for the past 2 years. And more.
First, it's GCSE coursework due in the next day or two. Then it's bumming around in the summer holidays. Then it's AS levels, and then A levels, and all the other bits of procrastination which comes in the middle of the two, such as MSN, games, and so-forth.

But this weekend was tough.
Friday saw me go to bed at the not-so-bad 11:00pm. But when the fact that I had to be up the next morning at 6:20am comes to light, it's already looking bad. Trudging through the London streets before 7:00am - indeed, before 8:00am, is not what I generally like to do.

Saturday saw me attending a dinner, and therefore bed was not before 3:00am, and up again on Sunday by 9:00am, out the house no later than 9:30. Sunday was not so bad in light of this, another night, another place to be, another official dinner thinggy, and another late night, albeit bedtime being at 2:20am. "Rise-and-shine" time was, again, 9:00am. Out the house not after 9:30am. Same for Monday morning (the day of this post is Monday, just in case your brains have stopped functioning at this point, due to whatever reason brains stop functioning).

Needless to say, that there was much alcohol going around at these said dinners, resulting in much uncomfortableness on my part, especially as half the amount of beverages I had, were consumed on an empty stomach.

The result of all this, is that I'm shattered.
To make matters worse, my sleep was very much disturbed on these days.
Please take note: opening someone's door, poking your head around it and hissing "are you asleep?" is not actually helpful. Also realise, that a baby crying just before you fall asleep - y'know, that state of semi-consciousness where you're not asleep, but not quite awake either - is not actually conducive to sleep.

It has been a harsh weekend, meaning of course, I enjoyed every moment of it.
Next weekend will see almost the same thing, although not quite so reckless...
But that leaves a few days inbetween. And what to do? Revision of course.

Here is a table of the amount of sleep I should get and the amount actually received. As you can see, it is direct from a well acclaimed medical establishment:

sleep.jpg

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A levels are upon me! ARGH! ARGH! PANIC! PAIN! PANIC!
16th May (little over 20 days) days sees me sitting the very first exam any exam board sets (curse Edexcel and history, curse you!).

I have no teaching - and have had no teaching - for this particular module for 1.5 years. The same situation is before me for an English Literature module (6 months, no teaching. Even back then I had no teaching) and an RE unit - which I have never actually been taught, and the teaching for this module hasn't actually started, despite study leave having commenced. I suspect we'll be given a run-through and several hundred pages to read, not before three days until the exam actually starts.

If you recall, I started my blog under "exam duress" - meaning, I was on study leave, bored, and totally stressed because I didn't spend enough time on my studies, and too much time on my blog. This situation was never resolved, but by spending more time on my blog I felt a little better about it, until I realised I had still achieved nothing by way of studies....and you get the idea. Catch 22. Vicious circle.

This will not be happening this month. Oh no. No siree.

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.......

Ok, it probably will, but not to the same extent as Jan/December exams/study leave period.
If you recall, I missed something like 12 lessons during this last study leave period. I still haven't caught up the work. Uh oh. This year, they have threatened to remove people from courses, if they don't actually turn up to various extra-curricula activities, such as RE lessons, history, and so forth.

This is the only viable method to get people to lessons. I leave school after the exams. I couldn't give a rat's arse what they think of me after that. For 7 years I've projected the image of respectability (which I am, of course), dependability (itchy waters there, depends what you want!), politeness (ah, of course I am most polite. And how do you do?), and generally making a good impression. This will all come to an end, and I will be able to sink, sink to low depths.

....
.....
No. I won't really. But I can fantasise, damnit! *sigh*

The pressure is actually really on. If I fluff one of these exams, I am in what we call "major s**t" and have to re-sit exams. Which we do NOT want. No, no sir.
----------------------------

You may have missed it from my blog, but there actually is an election coming up in May (in the UK). My advice to the British public is to put an X (meaning, "we don't want you) next to the word "Conservative," and then put it into the little box supplied at the local polling station.

If you would have voted for Conservatives, good on you!
If you happen to know what the "X" mark actually does signify, do the right thing, and vote Conservative!

Until next time, folks!
Oh. Responses to the fine people who comment on this blog

Rosie G: Yes, I be havin' it, like. And I added you. So. There we go.
Chaos F: Oh, you flatter me! Yes, I'm 18. Turning 19. Soon. In. Another year. Well. Half a year. Time flies, eh. Just the other day I was 16, and the day before that I couldn't even walk, talk, or worse, type!
sara: I like the food-comparison there ;-)

Random reveller: VOTE CONSERVATIVE!

Music. It's very clever isn't it? The way something is written can have such an effect on a person's mood. I pass people everyday on my way to school, who listen to music on their travels -and not just chavs, but people from all walks of life: briefcase clad business people, tourists (always austrailian, and they always have a massive bag on their back, plus, they like to ask "'scuse me mate, y'know where the tube station is?" whilst standing almost directly outside it. Is anyone else in London familiar with this specimen?) - and up until recently, me.

It's not hard to tell what type of music some people listen to. I mean, it's obvious that this brova who passes me on the footbridge wearing his cap backwards, and rocking his head violently to the music is listening to rap.

It's also obvious that the person who is sitting five seats away from me on the tube is listening to pop-music, from the way they're sitting. That, and the fact that I can hear it from where I sit.

There's no doubt that music hypes people up. Germany wouldn't allow any Polish citizens to play music themselves after they occupied it in the war. Music was banned in the Iranian revolution in the '70s, and many singers who fled Iran can no longer return, because of the music they sang. Religious music abounds, in the sectors of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. Christianity and choirs in churches, or Christian rock, Judaism with the cantor in the synagogue, Jewish rock and Israeli-music. Various rabbis said and wrote "If there was no Law [i.e. the OT], music would be the best thing to engage in." Islamic mysticism includes music and dance. Indeed, they call people to prayer via a music-chant. every morning. At 5:00am.

So, what is it about music which controls the mood?
As far as my friends go, it's rock, pop, and ye olde rock for them. People ask me "what's your favourite song/type of music" - but the clichéd question is not fair. I listen to so many different types of songs, and i appreciate anything nice, of any genre: of course, one person's "nice" is another person's "rubbish."

My friends are desperate to start a band. I don't see what's stopping them. In the upper sixth in my shcool, containing all of 8 people, 5 play at least one instrument. There's a drummer (who also has a brilliant singing voice), 2 guitar players, 2 pianists (one of which is me!), a recorderer (me) and a violinist (me. but not very good. as you may all recall. Meh, it's a working progress). There's several bands right there!

How hard can it be?
Well, we all know what "lazyness," "responsibility" and "work" is. It seems these three monstors are quite large, as of late...especially as we're all leaving the country (or at least the city) in a few months. Don't worry. We'll all be back to grace the natives of England and London with our presence fairly soon ;-)

So what has this post to do with mustard?

It's food of course! The most basic form of food, in fact. The thing to remember is, you can't eat it alone (and live long), and when you do use it, use it in small amounts. Just like friends and music.

(No, don't believe that. I was just desperate for an ending there)

And now, Adios!!
And....Vote Conservative!
Oh....first...

Responses

bexy thank you muchly :-)
Chaos thank you muchly too :-)
Puds ty for your voice! (and bex too). As I said previously, that long poem: 'twas the longest i've ever written :p
Rosie Vote Conservative! For a better, brighter future.

Adios, all!

Ok, so, Chaos liked my poetry. To inflate my head a little more, here's some poetry for you all.


LIGHT
A shaft of light,
comes through the glaze,
removing me from my misty haze.

A single shaft,
hanging so fair,
in the middle of this air.

It brings to view,
some speckles of dust,
dancing in their misty hue.

Putting out a hand,
to touch this thing grand,
it dissapears from my view.

The shadow i caused,
has removed the light,
from its graceful dance within my sight.

I retract,
and the beam is once more,
gracefully floating as it was before.

A magical sight,
to me is this light,
which has caused me now to write.

The beauty of nature,
People don't see,
The ellegance present so casually.

When it is gone,
it's then that we mourn,
but too late: never again will it be born.
-----------------------------

'twas one december 'eve,
the story which i relate,
when the wind was howling in the trees,
and blowing at the gate.

Upon a desk was i sat,
inside the inner-chambers,
when i heard a noise, "pat, pat, pat"
disturbing from my labours.

The snow was falling heavily,
down upon the earth,
I raised myself steadily,
and proceeded from my hearth.

the sea of stars was dim,
the moon quite unseen,
i opened up the door and got
a feeling very grim.

For upon my wind-swept step,
there's no caller to be seen,
stealthily away they'd crept,
leaving signs where they'd been.

For the sign they left that night,
no one's ever seen,
'twas the mark of unholy death,
which plunged me into plight.

A single longstalked rose,
left almost casually,
as if from one in a doze,
who let it fall gradually.

A simple flower instilled in me,
horrors never seen,
for that pretty rose my dears,
was black as black could be.

This impossibility
i pondered over more,
whilst standing on my outer steps,
remembering legends yore.

from my step i picked it up,
and carried it inside,
placed it inside a cup,
and watched it's silent pride.

the black rose hath not been seen,
for many centuries,
and here upon my step it was,
where the mystery caller'd been.

To this day i know not,
what's in store for me,
but here i quote from the book,
in which now i take a look:

"The black rose,
the mark of death,
to be avoided,
never touched,

if you receive it,
you do know,
the mark upon you,
it's not for show.

Death hath been cheated,
he hath called on thee,
and left to thou a message,
"for thee I wait, for thee I come"

If perchance,
you touched the thing,
your chances:
very slim.

there's not much we can do for thee,
we know not what to say,
except to repent from sins,
to then sit still and pray.

for in 4 score and 30 days,
when the moon is full,
that's the day we bid to thee
a heartfelt farewell."

And now that time is almost up,
there is but an hour,
I leave behind me to the world,
my story and legacy.

Thus I penned my poem,
written now it's done;
but won't you care to stay,
and find out what is done?

stay with me,
await with me,
come with me,
and see!

An hour later upon my door,
I hear a shadow i never saw,
tap-tapping upon the lattice,
tap-tapping on my door.

Knowing it my destiny,
knowing it His will,
still i arm myself,
before i answer my door.

And the tapping getting louder,
To the door I say "Hark! I hear thee, await!
stop your tapping now,
now upon my grate."

Closer to the door I come,
as to swing it open,
but i am stopped suddenly,
by an icy voice spoken:

"For thee I wait, for thee I come,
For thee it is, for thee who's done,
For thee you are, for thee you've been,
for thee hath seen, for thee I mean."

Shaken to the core,
I started to implore,
"quit your riddles sir,
and state your meaning plain!"

But he proceeded once again,
his icy voice starting plain,
a voice so terrible,
yet so still and comforting.

"Thee hath touched,
thee hath loved,
thee hath hated,
thee hath gruged."

"And who be thou,"
i started now,
"To say about me thus?"
I waited for his reply, it came steadily thus:

"Never hath thee really seen,
nor never hath thou really been,
for one can never really be,
until he deceiveth me."

shocked was i for this reply,
"whom art thou, who claims:
'i hath been deceived,
deceiveth have i been by thee?'"

"I am he whom you fear,
i am he who is not,
i am he who claims those dear,
i am he who hath not forgot."

"thou art Death!"
I proclaimed,
to which was stated,
"I be he."

He continued:
"thou hath touched the rose,
which i left for thee,
that one december 'eve."

This reply had chilled my spine,
but the courage of mine never failing,
"I thank thee for your gracious gift"
those words i spake to him.

"A gift thou hath, for the gift thou took,
no gift of mine can be forsook, for the gift i give,
is the gift of death, the last gift thou receives."

For this reply I would not settle,
"and is there a way to cheat the devil?
Take my life and be done!"
and so I opened up the door.

Startled was i to find,
no one was there at all,
only a silent whisper,
which was left behind.

The whisper of death,
the stench of fear,
and the cry,
of loved ones dear.

For spirit now am I,
Remember me, O passer by,
as you are, so once was I,
as I am so shall you be: remember this, and follow me.
----------------------

Who needs Love,
all the trouble which it brings,
presents itself as if a dove,
it begins to sing.

Kill it's song,
we want it not,
to spread it's poison,
it is simply wrong.

Who needs Knowledge,
knowing what will be,
by searching all the pages,
of the books of history?

Take it out,
get it gone,
this is a burden,
of which we want none.

Who needs Time,
time is no healer,
it is what kills you,
you as well as me.

Away with this,
Keep it not,
a concept this painful,
should be dropped.

So why do the likes of you and i,
the simple people in our world,
living out our lives uttering many a sigh,
make such use of these things three?

the three go hand in hand,
with time comes knowledge,
and it's through this we understand:
better to love and lose,
than to never have loved at all.
---------
I don't believe a word of the last two lines in that last poem. The hurt which can be caused far outweighs anything which may have taken place beforehand. And no, the cliché "you'll get over it" is not really true, as "it" is someone you loved, shared you secrets with and opened up your heart to them. The closer one is, the deeper the scars afterwards. Also. The rhyming scheme breaks up totally in the last two stanzas. The reason is because I haven't finished the poem, and had to go whilst I was in the middle of writing it, so just jotted down what I wanted to say so I wouldn't forget...

And so there has been a great increase in Conservative support. In my wide campaign, spanning all England, people will tell you again and again, to vote conservative.

In Leicester, they sound a bit like this and like this.

(Isn't she posh? Uh huh. This is what she really sounds like :p)

In the London area, the voices of the local populance can be heard to be saying this

And not just in England! Oh no. Worldwide, people will tell you "vote conservative for a better, brighter future" such as this Canadian lady united.wav href="http://pictureperfect.blogspirit.com/files/votec2.wav"/>here.

More importantly, unlike labour and lib dems, the voices of the Conservatives are united in their plea:
VOTE CONSERVATIVE!

Just what have accents and boats got to do with each other? Ah, well. Only those who accept my challenge at the end, shall ever find out...!

I've often wondered how accents came about. Obviously, a French accent will always sound French, but how did it come to be, that people situated on one part of France speak the same words in one way, and people at the other end of France, say the same word differently.

An English example.
How come Londoners have certain accents, compared to the residents of Manchester?

Extending this slightly.
How come Americans and Candians have different accents to the Brits? Especially if the original colonialists were basically mostly British - in the English colony of New York, for example. A New York accent is no where near anything resembling an "old" York accent. So how, dear children, did the Americans come to pronounce words incorrectly?

Take this for example. What is this person saying?
(If you are this person, you GET NO POINTS for stating what you're saying)

I don't think many people will get it.
-------
Other news:

Erm. I'm going to send out CVs to various establishments in the hope that they will take me on (part time) to complete various tedious manual tasks, whatever they be...
YES! I'm getting another job. Well. I hope to get one. But there we go.
------------

Responses

Puds You're not a man, you don't know!

shan said "Yes, Fiona has closed down her blog because of her lame ass school, shame :(" <-- I dedicate a whole section of my post to this sad fact, and you sum it all up as "a shame" (notice sarcasm :p).

Biscuit Excuuuuuuse me. The reason I don't go out with anyone has nothing to do with my political allignment. Although. Well. There was this one time...

PNB You may call me Sir Lord DJ Esquire from now on. Lord DJ will do as well. Or Sir DJ. Whichever.

Gingery "As for the Cartoony Characters who live on Wimbledon Common, I wont hear a bad word said about me and my Friends hehe" <-- LOL!