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18/07/2005
Politics,
POLITICS WILL BE IN RED. Those uninterested, skip to black text.
And so the state of Israel could be destroyed shortly.
This rather dire prediction comes from me at a time when Iran is succeeding in building a nuclear device, which would effectively put it on a footing with the most powerful nations in the world. For those of you who do not know, Iran is an Islamic fundamentalist state. Israel is a Jewish state. Therefore Israel is enemy number 1 for Iran. Whilst I have slight doubts as to whether or not Iran would use a nuclear device - only slight - I have less doubt that they would give it to the likes of Hamas, or Hizbollah to use (whom they are on friendly terms with. As the saying goes, the enemy of your enemy is your friend). Have doubts? I quote verbatim from some fundamentalist in Iran:
"Islam could survive the retaliation [of a nuclear strike] but Israel would be gone forever."
But surely they wouldn't kill all those Palestinians, who are muslims themselves? Surely they wouldn't infect Egypt, Lebanon, Jordan, Syria, and other surrounding nations with nuclear poisons, as would inevitable happen, due to the small size of Israel?
Of course they would.
The Palestinians would be hailed martyrs, the rest of the arab nations surrounding Israel - well, arab nations never got on well with each other, except when they were harrassing Israel - so what does it matter if they get a bi of radioactive clouds in their lands? Would go in 100 years or so anyway.
And that is why I mourn the loss of the state of Israel.
There is one way to save the state, however. Simply, stop Iran making nuclear devices. I believe Israel will take action to do so. It's not really difficult for them to do so, to be honest. The Israeli intelligence agency, though mostly despised, is known to be one of the best in the world - they have to be, in view of general traditional anti-israel sentiment.
Conclusion:
For the safety of not just Israel, but the world (for Iran does want an Islamic world, don't forget, so the west isn't safe either): get rid of their nuclear making equiptment, I say!
I went to a newly opened restaurant today. It was a kosher one too. "Kosher" simply means "permitted" and refers to the foods which are "permitted" to eat, as per the bible.
I was unimpressed. I could have made the food myself and it would have tasted better. I am not here to tell you about the unsatisfactory main-course food, neither the excellent service, and no, not even the brilliant tasting bread and cakes (baked on site). Nor am I here to tell you that the restaurant sent us on the house cakes, due to finding the food yucky (what actually happened was, someone I was with told one of the waiters - who turned out to be the owner - that I didn't like the food. Despite my insistance it was fine (and it was fine. Just not nice lol [I didn't tell them that!]) they sent us the cakes) - no, I'm not here to tell you any of that. Instead, I am here to tell you of my observations of the wider world, where "wider world" is defined as the 20 pavement (sidewalk!) stones I could see from my table, and the people treading upon them.
Before I being, I must tell you about kosher shops, and other shops.
Kosher places generally display that they are kosher, along with a certificate saying that all food therein, has an eye kept upon it whilst it is being prepared/manufatured. It acts as a type of quality control in a way (though that is a by-product, not the main aim). The certificates are either written entirely in Hebrew, or entirely English, with a few Hebrew words dotted about. The latter was the case with this particular place of cuisine.
For the most part, kosher shops and places are not frequented by anyone who is not Jewish. This does not hold true for the bakeries, however, which are frequented by any and many. I believe I gravely underestimated the amount of non-Jewish customers kosher suppliers of food receive, when I was stopped on the street, and was asked "I can't buy anything! Why are all the Kosher shops closed? Is it a Jewish holiday?" (indeed it was. Why he wanted to buy kosher food, I really don't know. Although i'd imagine it's great for people with dietry problems, such as being lactose intolerant - the selection and quality of dairy-free items [such as ice creams] defy belief).
Anyway. This restaurant I went to had their little certificate in the window. It was, however, was [just] outside of the Jewish community, and therefore is catering for a large non-Jewish base. As I surveyed the world (see previous definition of "world") I saw how they were unsure as to what the place was, and puzzled over the English/Hebrew certificate. Some screwed up their noses and went on their way, whilst others walked away not knowing what to think at all. Others still, bravely and cautiously ventured inside. I was sitting there for the entire meal attempting not to laugh my head off.
The service was brilliant. As it was a new restaurant, they were conducting interviews for new staff inside the place itself (it wasn't busy). One lady turned up from America (I don't know why she did that, but she did) and was dressed in extremely revealing clothes. I can't help but laugh inside - no doubt it was done to give her every advantage. And good luck to her!
This brings us to the waitresses - for there were no waiters at all. I could type a long rambling paragraph about the service, before coming to the main point - that they were all pretty. Or, I could just tell you that they were all very pretty now, and be done with it. I don't do things in halves, and why take the easy option when a harder one presents itself? Useless rambling paragraph, here I come!
They -- oh, ok, I can't be bothered, and I have 3 other places to be right now, so, the point is, in case you missed it above: the waitresses were pretty, and kept smiling at me, so I was happy. I'll probably return there for coffee and cake and such (and, to watch the pretty ladies) but never to eat.
Did I mention there were pretty ladies in there? Heeeehe.
Post Script: I just got off the phone. I should say PHONES. I had my house line in one hand, and my mobile phone in the other - on which a conference call was taking place (not at my expense!) In short, I was speaking to a few people, ALL AT ONCE. This is insane. But it was cool. It's the most popular i've been in ages (well. Since the last conference call).
It has come to my attention pretty ladies sometimes feature heavily in a single post.
No, I am not a pervert. I just have to work hard to allay fears that I am gay. I am not gay. I AM NOT GAY!
That is all. You may go.
21:06 Posted in Politics | Permalink | Comments (15) | Email this
Comments
Why do you sound like Professor Snape?
Kosher. Mmm, Kosher.
Men often highlight their heterosexuality to conceal their homosexuality.
Oh dear.
Posted by: Rosie | 18/07/2005
Did they sell the four types of kosher grasshoppers?
And you should be surprised to note that around 70% of kosher food sales here in Australia are to people that are not Jewish, and this has been the case for about twenty years. And its customer base is still growing faster that …well than the Jewish population base.
Posted by: Nor | 19/07/2005
Rosie, heeeeeeehe.
Ever seen Life of Brian? How he denies he's the messiah, and some bright spark (a lady, as it happens) says "only the true messiah denies his divinity" - then he says "Well what chance does that give me?! alright, i AM the messiah!" and everyone gets really excited, because he said he was the messiah...I 'aint falling for that one. No sir. I 'aint saying i'm gay. Anyway. Homosexuality can be a pain in the arse.
Professor Snape is someone worth emulating, due to his wonderful sarcasm, and total respect he commands. Though he's always being slagged off behind his back.
Posted by: DJ | 19/07/2005
Nor, I am suitably impressed with your knowledge of Kosher food sales in Australia for the past 20 years, and appropriately awed at the statistics you quoted.
I was aware that kosher food has a large fan-base in the USA - because it is more yummy than other foods. I shall call this the yummy factor. Jo [the one who went to the zoo with me] herself has developed a taste for the tuna and sweetcorn rolls from the local kosher bakery since knowing me. So indeed, I know about the yummy factor first hand, and had underestimated it entirely.
And no, no one sells kosher grasshoppers - aside from not being sure which ones are kosher any more, most Jews living in MEDCs find they have lost the taste for insects.
Posted by: DJ | 19/07/2005
I have had to do my research, as where are looking at geting the factory (honey) Kosher certified. There is something of a large market for kosher honey I have been told.
Posted by: Nor | 19/07/2005
oh yes, there certainly is. honey represents sweetness, etc (hardly surprising) and is used heavily about september/october/november time (depending on leap years, etc) by jews en masse.
almost every jewish kid is taught a song which begins "dip the apple in the honey....."
Posted by: DJ | 19/07/2005
Guess im going to have to stop covering myself in pig fat before I go swiming in the honey tank. hmm i will just have to find another use for all that pig fat I guess
Posted by: Nor | 19/07/2005
Dip the apple in the honey for a happy sweet new year
Shofar sounds will fill the air bringing joy as we all share
In this happiest of happy days that we now celebrate
Just when it seems like a blur it is time for Yom Kippur
It's the holiest of holy holidays in the whole year...
At least that's the one I've heard before, JJ. I quite like haroset, myself and matzo in soup. If you're curious, I can tell you that my dad has taken Hebrew.
Speaking of food, I'm off to get some stilton, spinach and strawberries. Now, that sounds like good eats. I'll talk to you later.
Arty
Posted by: arty | 19/07/2005
I was a deprived Jewish child. I never learnt the song. *sniff.*
lol, in all these months, I hadn't realised you had a taste for those foods, arty! :-O
Haroset, yummy! There are many different styles of haroset - western and eastern styles. I have both - one side of my family are from europe, the other from the middle east (Israel, Iran+Iraq, we're talking about here. Flashpoint Iraq, eh).
Posted by: DJ | 19/07/2005
ummmmm
as you well know, im stupid. What makes food Kosher?
oh and by the way, ive never tried Jewish food. It always looks scary. Plus i cant pronounce it.
Posted by: Puds | 19/07/2005
puds, as I said in the post (you weren't paying attention! *tuts*):
"Kosher" simply means "permitted" and refers to the foods which are "permitted" to eat, as per the bible."
kosher = permitted = stuff in bible.
Posted by: DJ | 19/07/2005
I'm at an ever so slight variance with the rest of the citizens of the G8, but I believe in the nuclear proliferation of the second world. With Amereica in control of the planet the world needs an equaliser, and much, as I regret it, absolutist states like Iran and N. Korea seem to be the only option. I absoloutely hate the idea of a Theocracy in posession of nuclear weaponry, simply because they are in a freer political position to act than a Pseudodemocracy is, but isn't capitalism itself a Theocracy?
And I've always been intrigued by the Idea of "Kosher". Seeing as the only food I object to is "dead people", I've often wondered about how it's done. Is there simply a massive list of foods drawn up by theologians that dictate what you can and can't eat, or are there a set of rules to follow that you can apply to individual foods that show you wheter to alter their preparation or cut them out altogether? Or some combination of the two?
Posted by: potnoodleboy | 19/07/2005
Surprise, JJ!
Yes, I'm quite fond of Jewish food. I'm not sure what kind of haroset I've had before...all I know is that it's good eats. I've got a few Jewish colleagues and they'e invited me to join them and their families for seders the last few years.
Right then...I'm off. Talk to you soon.
Arty
Posted by: arty | 19/07/2005
For those that want to know a bit more on kosher like PNB than what DJ is telling you, Here are the basics (as I know them, so the could be a bit vague, or wrong but I’m sure DJ will correct me if that’s the case)
Certain animals may not be eaten at all. This restriction includes the flesh, organs, eggs and milk of the forbidden animals. Animals that have cloven hooves and chew its cud are what you want. Deer, cow, sheep, goats are all fine. For sea food it needs to have fins and scale to be kosher (there’s a joke about DJ never having crabs there I’m sure of it). For birds no birds of prey or scavengers.
Of the animals that may be eaten, the birds and mammals must be killed in accordance with Jewish law. And cant of died from natural causes or been killed by another animal.
All blood must be drained from the meat or broiled out of it before it is eaten.
Certain parts of permitted animals may not be eaten. Like the sciatic nerve and its adjoining blood vessels and the fat which surrounds the vital organs and the liver.
Meat, cannot be eaten with dairy. Fish, eggs, fruits, vegetables and grains can be eaten with either meat or dairy. (According to some views, fish may not be eaten with meat).
Utensils that have come into contact with meat may not be used with dairy, and vice versa. Utensils that have come into contact with non-kosher food may not be used with kosher food. This applies only where the contact occurred while the food was hot.
Grape products made by non-Jews may not be eaten.
Now DJ what I want to know is "winged swarming things" are not on the list so why is honey Kosher???
Posted by: Nor | 20/07/2005
Me being a religous type aswell as a political type feel that Israel won't become obliterated by nuclear weaponary due to the immense religous benefits it holds to 3 major religions - yes it does hail as the holy land to christians and Jews, but also to muslims aswell, so if the fundementalist nutters (a small minority of what is gennerally a peace loving society) were to blow it up then they would be blowing up a lot of what islam believes in, although as they are nutters and have no real belief in their own religion who is to say they wont :(
I can quite honestly say that I have never eaten kosher and i doubt that I will, pork is such a fine meat whether it be in chop form or even sausages.
Posted by: ant d | 20/07/2005
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