Picture Perfect

Yesterday, I met with the General Brigaedier, Chief of Staff of Israeli Elite-forces. These are the guys who have been evicting everyone from Gaza, together with the army. Obviously, this meeting was right up my alley. However, the removal is a sore point, and something this chap is retiring over, therefore political talk on this subject was minimal. I may not reveal any names or places for security reasons. Well. You never know.

The thing is, he also happens to be the formost expert on terrorism in the world. He told me Britain has been the most unwilling to listen to Israel's point of view, from the entire world. Therefore, when the British came to him for advice after the London bombings...Well, let's just say, "I told you so," wouldn't have covered the situation. The representative of the London-something-or-other basically said "yes, we have been uncooperative with you in the past, and so I respect your decision not to cooperate with us now." The reason given was the Brits would, no doubt, either directly or indirectly, give the Israeli tactics to the PA in the future.

He informed me there have been 8,000 attacks on Israel in the last 5 years (CNN report 6,000 in the past 4 years). I heard on Israel radio, a representative of Hamas speaking. The reporter asked him how many attacks Hamas had executed in the past four years, the response "6,000." The reporter then asked "did you know not one of those rocket attacks hit it's target? How do you account for this?" The Hamas representative said "You think we can't fire missiles. We can. We practise, and we hit our targets in practise. I account for it by saying G-d likes Jews."

The reporter was an anti-religious man, and essnetially asked the Hamas man to stop making things up, and be serious. After he said he was serious, the presenter carried on with his interview.
Interesting to hear this from Hamas.

And now I must go check out of the hotel. I'll be all alone shortly, for the next 5 days. Thankfully, the family I have here have been great - really kind and supportive. This is good.

I have also found out I cannot be in Israel for 3 months at a time, or I shall be given automatic citizenship and then drafted into the army straight away. Not that I'm hiding from military duty, but my parents...think it best that I don't go. For my part, I believe I can do other things to help the situation here, rather than military duty. Failing this, there is always another time to join the army. For this reason, I shall be staying in Israel for 2.5 month stints.

Oh. Remember that post i made, like, two posts away? About that Arab calling me a "bloody jew" in arabic, and demanding i be stabbed? Most unfortunately, Wednesday afternoon saw the stabbing of a Jewish boy, about my age, in the very same precinct I had walked. G-d knows, perhaps it was because of me he died.

In my talk with the elite police yesterday, I asked how they were going to find the murderer. They assured me they would have him in another 24 hours. When I demanded details, the response was "We have sources. We have tactics. We have forces." They also have a picture of the murderer. I would like to see it. Perhaps I shall, shortly.
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Another thing, which I have been forgetting to say for about 3 weeks.
I have finally seen a picture of PNB. That's right, PNB. Be afraid. Be very afraid. It was that picture with your electric blue fishing hat - brilliance. Absolute humour. As to a picture of me with my very own hat...maybe. I'll work on it.

PNB: Yes, we get world service here...but I find CNN is so much less biased than the BBC...It just upsets me to listen to the BBC, with all their facts twistings and such.

As to "historic culture" - I'm not sure when the Jordanian nation and/or culture emerged. But that's neither here nor there. Life and death and major political decisions shouldn't ride on the back of "oh, but their culture is as old as mine, therefore I won't react to their violence."

As to the word "G-d" ...ah, various reasons, the shortest one of all being, out of respect, some refrain from writing G-d's name in full - especially on paper, where it will probably come to be thrown away. Cyberspace is no less volatile than paper, and should I or blogspirit decide for whatever reason to delete my blog...well, I'm sure you get the point now.

Hey, when I see seminaked women wandering around, I stare too. When I see a mint condition, 1879 penny stamp lying on the ground in front of me, I tread on it. It's nothing to do with rarity, mister!
Yes, but you also have an electric blue fishing hat.

As to your point, that I say all Muslims/Arabs are X, Y or Z, I did not intend to make any sweeping generalisations. As I said before, there are some israeli-Arabs who get on fine, and even Palestinians here who get on without violence. In Spain, the Arab and Jewish community have been living side by side in peace since the Muslim rule of Spain in the middle ages.

However, I will say most Arabs living here do not like Jews. Replace "do not like" with "hate" and it's closer to the truth. Many of the israeli-arabs and palestinians who don't actually strap bombs to themselves, and who "get on fine" with Israelis as I mentioned before, are actually involved in 90% of suicide attacks. They provide transport and shelter for the terrorists. As far as i'm concerned, in any other situation, sheltering is as good as doing. However, most of these people will probably be killed if turned over to the PA, so I cut them a little slack, and don't hate them. I pity them. Why will they be killed? They are Israeli arabs are Israeli citizens, and therefore traitors to Islam, and the Palestinian cause. Palestinians who do not bomb Israeli civilians are traitors to Islam, and the Palestinian cause - of course, all in the eyes of the fanatical Hamas and Jihad movements, which hold almost absolute influence over the Palestinian people.

Yes, but isn't it absurd to be a proponent both of hostilities and of peace? You can't advocate hostile measures in order to prevent factional disagreement! Just look at Essex weddings!
I've never witnessed an Essex wedding, so can't comment on that point! However, you're coming from a totally different world view to the Palestinian people. You have been raised to accept people (except right wingers), other cultures, and other groups. You believe that in your society, people can all live together in peace. And to some extent, it all works out more-or-less fine. Minority groups, of course, get the "less" of that deal. However. Paleistinians have been brought into a society functioning on different values: kill Israelis, get to heaven. Democracy and a society where people can live together - is not what they wan't, they want a strict Islamic state in place of the democratic Israeli one. It's the exact same situation in London now, except Israel gets many more attacks than London does.

And that's another thing. London get's two days of attacks, and the world is in an uproar. Israel get's attacked almost daily, year in and year out, and the world condemns Israel to a bitter blood bath by not allowing Israel to take the steps necessary to protect themselves - those steps often being the exact same things those countries forbidding israel to carry out, would be the things they'd do themselves anyway.

But all political differences fade away when faced with the prospect of exile to the United States Embassy to the People's Undemocratic Republic of the Study Hall! Just hum "Rule Britannia" (that patriotic song about mastery over rival driving schools) to yourself, promise them millitary support and keep quiet about George III!
Ahh. I believe that would be good, in combination with what an elderly man told me once. To be exact, when I was shopping with Jo, I escaped outside to eat something, whilst she and her sister were in a shop, looking for...girly stuff. He said he once saw a sign on a British owned boat docked in the USA on their independence day, with the words "Come back, colonies, all is forgiven!" This, indeed, would be a nice comment to make when being faced with hundreds of Americans.

At the start of this post, thanks to all who read the last one, and continue to take the plunge into this one. Now into the thick of it.



College starts for me on the 1st of Sept. '05. It says it right there on my acceptance form. To be honest, the entire "you-have-to-apply-for-college" thing was a mere formality. I was told over the phone "you're accepted, just apply. Please." I suspect they get a grant from the gov't depending on how many students (measured with accepted application forms, I suppose) there are in the place.

Anyhoo, this college is a bible-college-type-thing. As such, they have many-a-rule about modern things, such as computers and the internet. They're not allowed. Sure, the place runs an e-mailing service, much like a hotel - all e-mails are delivered to me the same day they were received. Now that's cool. However. These e-mails are no doubt subject to being read by anyone who so happens to be involved with getting the e-mail off the net, and into my hand. This is the reason I shall not be using that address. Ever. Just so we're clear, I don't have anything to hide, I just don't want my privacy impeded anymore than it needs to be.



Talking about privacy, I share a room with 2 other people. These two other people are American. I am afraid to say, British-born people are certainly in the minority. There are 50 students in my year alone (which is quite big, actually) and 47 of them are American. The other 2 Brits are my two friends, who I already know. So, I'm sure being locked in a building for 15.5 hours a day with 47 Americans will be an absolute whizz. Not to mention joint study, where I shall spend hours locked in a single room with hundreds of Americans. I hope I come out sane. And alive.

Speaking of Americans - I am afraid to report my accent has been slightly damaged. Now, don't get me wrong, my accent is still 100% BBC, as it always was. I have, however, caught myself once or twice saying "whaaat?" with that American twang. Shocking. Absolutely shocking.
Where was I? Oh, yes. Americans. Lovely people. Really. Deep down. Somewhere. I have met, for the first time in my life, cousins from America. Where else do I meet cousins from America for the first time, if not in Israel?

Baby Cousin - Just a baby. Cries, wants to be fed, etc.

Cousin 1 - This specimen is female, has ginger hair, is about 6 years of age. Is the cutest of all my cousins, without a doubt. Has a very cute American accent too. Well, they all do, I suppose.

Cousin 2 - Male, 8. Knows everything there is to know about animals. It's quite scary, actually. Name an animal, he'll tell you anything from their average weight, to their life expectancy.

Cousin 3 - I know little about this one. Must be about 10. Female. That is all I know. Really.

Cousin 4 - Female, 13. Can read a paperback in the amount of time it takes me to eat dinner.

Cousin 5 - Female, between 15 and 17. This one is interesting. I have, however, been forbidden from speaking to any of the girls (I'm a bad influence, meh heh heh heh heh) by my parents. I have been informed the girls will not initiate discussion with me, ever.
However. I do know this one is very rebelious, and was removed from her school (expelled? The details are hazy. Either way, she's in a new school now). She also wants to move back to America. If you're not a tourist, life is very hard here.

I noticed that my cousins and I share some mannerismsm, which is quite funny, really.

Most of them do not like being in pictures, much to my distress. Teenage girls, eh? But still - I felt like pointing out we've never met before, despite the eldest being 16, and G-d knows when we'd meet again, so if they'd just stand still long enough for the flash to go, that'd be great. I did not, however. I thought it would be a little akward.

Anyway. As I said, G-d knows when we'll meet again. And I can exclusively reveal to you all, that that will be this Friday and Saturday - the Jewish sabbath. Sunday is a normal day here, Friday and Saturday is the weekend. To be expected, of course, what this being Israel and all.



My family leave early Friday morning, and I shall be alone, all alone. I'm not sure where I'm going or what im doing when they do leave, I just have a hazy notion with something to do with the college....



Talking about college, I met a girl in the hotel who comes from England, and is applying to do a law degree. She offered to talk me through it all - university applications, etc. etc. etc.
Brackets are my emotional thoughts:

She's pretty (yay!)
She's a bit older than me (meh)
She has a younger sister (yay!)
She's under age (meh)
She seems to be really, really friendly (yay!)
I haven't seen her around for a while (meh)
She offered to help with my stuff (yay!)
I havent seen her around for a while (meh).

And there it ends.

I got my A Level results. Apparantly, 30 points are needed to enter Cambridge university. I have 34 points. That's right, 34. As such, I have complete control over which universities I can apply for. A nice feeling indeed.


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Responses
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Potnoodleboy - Ah, you dissapoint me. You said:

You used to be able to see both sides of the coin, but now it's all "All Arabs are perverts, thieves and bloodlusting thugs" and "The state of Israel is a defenceless, unprospering, libertarian nationstate which simply has to destroy a culture as historic as it's own because the peace-measures it took yesterday afternoon haven't worked yet".

Nay, I did not say "all Arabs are perverts" - It's just that, with their lifestyle, an uncovered woman walking along a street, or beach, is totally alien to them. As such, they will stare. No doubt about it. I get stared at by people who have never seen Jews with actual skull caps before. It's to be expected.

If one were to walk uncovered through Tel Aviv, one wouldn't get such a response, due to the life style. It's just a culture thing. Male curiosity is a product of that.

As to theiving and bloodlust - It would be insanity to be so Politically Correct, that one ignores the actual facts and dangers about being in certain places. A lovey-dovey attitude is what it takes to get killed here. Vigilance, which is what I suggest, means you stay alive a little longer. This is not like England - If I stray into the wrong places, there is definate danger of me being lynched, or stabbed several times. And you, if you decide to visit. Or anyone else.

Are you likely to get stabbed in Tel-Aviv? No, not really. Not for socio-political or religious reasons, at least.

The fact is, certain people are not welcome in certain places. I am one of those people, as are you.
Also: it would be insanity to say being a Jew or Christian under Muslim rule is better than being a Muslim under Jewish or Christian rule. Christian scripture was used as toilet paper when the Arabs were given autonamy of certain areas. Jews are simply not welcome, on pain of death. As for Christians and Muslims under Jewish rule - Christians have nothing to complain about, and Muslims are welcome if they're Israeli citizens, or past suspicion of terrorism. But then, even I am subject to that suspicion.

As to the state of Israel being defenceless - I fear it's hands are tied more than set loose. As to destroying cultures as"old as it's own" - please tell me at which point in time there was a Palestinian "culture," "people" or "nation" prior to 1948? I'll save you some time: there wasn't. True, the word "Palestine" was given to Israel under British rule, but don't be fooled. There is no such culture to go with that name. As I said, the majority of "Palestinians" were disowned by Jordan. One doesn't really have to wonder why.



I mean, what if there was an Arab freethinking enough to realise we can all be equal as human beings if we try? What'd happen if he tried to approach a Jew who was otherwise alone in a hostile area? He'd get stared down with revulsion, is what!
Only if he approaches me. In other cases, it may be fear or violence. But then, one would hope (1) the said Arab would realise the danger that Jew is in, and appreciate that the said Jew would have to regard him as hostile, until proven otherwise - anything else would be insanity. Hostile until proven innocent. This is pretty much a war. I'm sure you understand that in a situation of war, one party is liable to be harmed by the other.
There are some villages of Arabs who are pro-Israel. I even passed through one. I met a Jewish man who circumcised one of the Arab children there, on the request of their parents. Notice that I was advised not to flaunt the fact I was Jewish whilst I was there, unless being accompanied by an Arab armed guard. The other chap was accompanied by an Arab armed guard.

I therefore reject your insinuations that outright acceptance of Arabs is the solution to the problem here. One can't be too trusting here - it may cost you your life. Or me, mine. And I don't intend to die before reaching 25 (whereupon I predict my brain will mush into itself, and leak out my ears, at which point I shall die. Don't ask why, I don't know :p)

And what'd happen if the Israeli state gave the vile old Arabs some sort of political freedom?

Arabs living in Israel do have political freedom. They are Israeli citizens, and therefore have a vote. A chap named Mohummed served me some tea today. He is an Israeli-Arab waiter.
The people living in the Gaza and West bank, promenading as "Palestinains" have no vote in Israel. This is because they are under the rule of the PA - Palestinain Authority, who are effectively their government. Votes have been called for them in January of this coming year. They have no politcal vote in Israel, as you have no vote in Israel. I, however, under the Law of Return, could have that vote, should I so wish.

As to your suggestion for the removal of checkpoints - don't be silly. Ideally, there would be no security needed. As it happens, two Apache military helicopters fly over my head every hour between the hours of 9:00am and 5:00pm. I don't know why, but they do. To remove secruity would be to invite terrorists. To minimise it, would also to be to invite terrorists. What you're suggesting to me, essentially, is akin to saying "Don't have any police on the underground, and certainly don't check any Arab/Muslims BECAUSE they are suspected of being terrorists."
This attitude is what invites death, m'boy. I fully support the whole "check Arabs/Muslims" thing, as does Sir Ian Blair - no, not because I'm prejudice. I have been the subject of police checking my bags too (I possibly looked middle-eastern to the guy who stopped me) and no, I'm not unhappy about it. To the contrary, I have nothing to hide, and in this case of life and death, am glad the officer took the right choice to check a suspect - who happened to be myself.

Anyway. At the end of the day, we stand at opposing ends of the political spectrum, but I also know, at the end of the day, we both desire peace for this troubled region, and the rest of the world.

"Bloody Jew!" the old man with silver hair spat in angry Arabic, the empty glass bottle he was holding slammed onto the stone ledge upon which he was sat. The old man continued to shout, by no means drowned out in the busy market. "Bloody Jew! What's he doing here? This is not his city. Why do we let him pass? We should slit his throat!" The only indication I gave that I understood his words, was to raise my eyebrows at him. For all intents and purposes, I found myself in enemy ground - here, it is me who is the enemy to this old man, and he mine. Had his glass bottle smashed on the stone, I have little doubt he would have used it as a weapon. It would be unwise to scuffle in the narrow market place, surrounded by Palestinians. Wearing my skull cap, I was an obvious target. I was not afraid, despite the real danger to myself. Though I was in the Arab market, I was still in Jewish-ruled territory (the sad irony of Israel is that most Arabs,though subject to searches, may come and go as they please, in almost any area they so choose, whilst Israelis may very well get stabbed should they stray into a place which holds any amount of Arabs).

I was in Jerusalem, the old city, where my ancestors had once freely walked upon these very steps, thousands of years ago, unhindered by old men with silver hair. But no longer. The Arab market is located between the Armenian and Jewish sections of the city (both under Israeli rule) and the Muslim section - the path I was currently walking led to that same said section (which was given over to the PA for "peace"). The sidewalk was as narrow as anything. Had I stood with my arms outstreched, no one would have been able to pass me. The stalls lined the streets, goods poured out from every corner. Rings, beads, things of religious interest (surprisingly, Christian and Jewish religious items, in the Arab market). This was aside from the food, spices and other items of assorted jewelry, the necklaces were especially beautifully made, but the sort of shoddy craftsmanship which causes the string to snap, and the beads fall off spectacularly in their hundreds, onto the floor after just a few days.

So there I was, in almost-Arab held territory, perhaps the most dangerous area in Israel which is accessable to Jews. As I walked towards the Jewish section (there is an access point from the Arab market to the Jewish section. Don't forget, in times of Old, it was all one city, and everwhere connects to everywhere else) an Arab in an Aladin-like shop called out to me, seconds after the man with silver hair had spewed out his hatred, "come, my brother--." He stopped both his speech and his steps towards me after I gave him a furious look. Tourist I may be, brother I most certainly am not. Distant cousin, perhaps. Very distant. But the man with silver hair had demonstrated why there could never be peace in the middle east: the hatred of Jews is normal, and ingrained into every Arab to such an extent, they would be prepared to murder Jews in their own capital. The so-called Palestinians (from Jordan, actually, and disowned by said country), and the Israelis cannot both exist together. The Palestinian president said some words I agree with absolutely: "Israel cannot exist peacefully, unless it is under Islamic rule"- to him I tip my hat, for it is true. One cannot exist whilst the other survivies; it is the aim of the Palestinians to (using their own words) "drive the Jews into the sea" whilst it is the aim of Israel to defend itself. It is therefore foolhardy to give away land in the hopes of peace,and therefore diminish Israel-major, and give a base for Hamas, and militant Palestinians to work from. But by all means, Jewish blood is cheap, and the world is willing to gamble on whether or not giving this part of land, or that part of territory to the PA will bring peace or not, only to find that it did not, in fact, bring peace. To exist in peace, Israel has to revert to Islamic rule, else push the Palestinians back into Jordan, whence the majority of them came (a prospect Jordan dreads, and by no means will ever accept). I hope for the sake of my people it will be the latter. From my perspective, rather Palestinian casualties and deaths, than Jewish. But the world does not see it this way. It is, by all means, an "us-or-them" situation. And yet for some bizzare reason, people presume to think a group of people bent on destroying the Jewish state can live peacefully with the Jewish state. Folly beyond words. I weep for my people, finding themselves - myself - in such a precarious and unfair position - where the rights of murderers are protected above and beyond the rights of the Israeli citizens they target, time and time again - and for the world, I laugh. I laugh at their naivety that suicide bombings are contained only within Israel - a thought the world now knows is false. I laugh at the world for their folly in thinking there will be peace in the middle east through making conessions, and giving land away. And not least, I laugh at the Israelis for executing these notions.

No longer are the Palestinians a problem from afar, a distant group of people who target Israelis, in an equally distant place. The Palestinians have always been my problem, but now the problem lives nearer to me than I care to think. I can only hope I get the problem, before it gets me.
But what is the problem? Surely the problem is the Jewish state? Afterall, Israelis occupy the land of the Palestinians, and infringe their human rights daily. Right?

Wrong.

As mentioned previously, there has never been a Palestinian state, so just what land has been "stolen" from them? We cannot steal from a people who didn't exist. But I won't call attention to that. Nor shall I call attention to the fact that the Arabs declared war on the new Israeli state time and time again, and lost every single time, only to find that not only did the Israelis successfully defend themselves despite the fact that the most powerful armies of the area at that time had all ganged up on a single state, made up entirely of Holocaust survivors, forming ragged bands of poorly equipped units to repel the Arab attacks. Not only did Israel do this, but Israel won some land in the process. As a student of History, I have never come accross a time or place, where the winning country must give back the land it gained. If that is the case, the Northern Ireland problem shouldn't exist, it should revert back to Ireland. Of course, the religion introduced to those lands should be repelled, it's shrines demolished, it's adherants moved. Afterall, this is what is happening to the Jews in Gaza now, at the behest of the world, so surely it's a two-way street?
Let Russia revert back to it's borders before it became a unified state, so too Germany and Italy, and all the other myriads of countries which exist today. France and Spain both have terrorists who want to make their own country. Why don't they give land for peace, as does Israel? But this doesn't happen. Why not? Hypocracy. The fact that it's not the blood of their own countrymen being spilled. My aim is not to discuss all this. My aim is not even to mention the fact that the Palestinians have been offered Israeli citizenship, failing this, Israel built modern towns for them entirely which remain - to this day - unoccupied, as the corrupt leadership will not allow them to benefit from it. I do not even wish to discuss the corruption of the PA and the leaders of the Palestinians. Instead, I wish to call attention to pre-1948 (when the Jewish state was made). There was no "occupied territories" in 1902 to motivate Arabs to mow down 100 Jews in their synagogue whilst they prayed. There was no "state of Israel" which existed in 1915, where 48 Jews were murdered by 2 Arabs with machine guns. Time and time again, before 1948, there were attrocities. Why? The only motivation was the fact that there were Jews there. That same fact is present today: Jews are in Israel. Arabs dislike Jews. Arabs are far more militant than Jews are. Therefore, Jews die. Arabs these days place the blame of Israeli deaths on "occupation" and the world justifies their actions for them. Should Israel so much as defend themselves, the world screams bloody murder, "bullets against rocks!"

But what's the deal here? Allow the Palestinians to pick off Jews one by one, simply because Israel is capable of defending itself? Is it really a crime to defend oneself?
I have heard many arguemnts against Israel. "Human rights" is a favourite of pro-Palestinians. But do these people ever think that the leadership of Palestinians are so corrupt, they breach the human rights of their own ilk more frequently than the Israelis? Where does all the money go, that the Arab and Western world give to the PA? Guns and bombs, certainly not the housing it was given for.
But when Israel does breach international law (what usually happens is, Israel says "we will do XYZ" and the world quickly holds a UN council upon whether or not "XYZ" should be carried out, the answer is invariably "no," and it is found illegal. I still laugh at that one UN council where the USA refused to attend the meeting, and everything fell apart, and there was no council) - as I was saying - don't shout "Oslo agreement!" at me, when the Palestinians themselves breach the agreement every single day, by way of suicide bombs. When the enemy plays dirty, so should you, if you want to stand a chance.

But let us look at the middle east in the context of the world today. The world today applauds the poor Palestinians, oh-so-helpless-in-the-face-of-Israeli-rule for blowing up innocent Israelis. Fine. I've never understood it, but i've made peace with it (it's a difficult pill to swallow). So i'll use the same logic for the rest of the world for my political leanings, and would encourage everyone else to as well. I applaud the London bombings. I applaud the suicide bombings in Iraq. I applaud every act of terrorism, as the terrorists are so defenceless, and have to resort to terrorism to be heard. Oh, did I make you feel uncomfortable? I'm not sorry. It's how I feel daily, and how every Jewish person and Israeli feels, and has felt, for decades,in the face of the twisted "justice" the world delivers to Israel's door.
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Gaza Pullout.
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"They have come to remove Jews" a loudspeaker blared in Hebrew "but they are our brothers, and we shall not shed their blood." The army and Elite police moved in formation towards the place where the protestors were standing, blocking the Settler's progress out of town. Indeed, the Settlers and protestors are two distinctly different groups of people. The settlers were invariably prepared to move out of Gaza, whilst the Protestors are Jewish teenagers, usually bereft of parents. I disagree with the actions of the protestors. But why do these protestors have no parents? Because they were killed by Palestinian suicide bombers, Palestinian snipers and Palestinian rocks. Is it any wonder they do not wish to have over Gaza to the very people who killed their parents? I hear constantly from Sky news - BBC and CNN - that the sole reason that the protestors are opposed to the Gaza is "this is the land God gave to our ancestors" - sure, this is one reason which motivates religious people. But this is by no means the only reason. It is the quoted reason because to these protestors, religion is all they have left, and therefore the most important part of their lives - or it simply has always been the focal point of their lives. But there are other "lesser" reasons why they oppose the Gaza pullout, one of which I have already mentioned. I will mention more within this post. But let us turn our attention back to the loudspeakers, for fresh speech issues from them. "Why do you look so sad?" asked one, addressing the soliders and police "for you have come to move children from the only homes they have known, but you are fulfilling your duty to the country, so be joyous!"

I would never expect the world to truly know what the mood in Israel is, nor what the suffering of the Settlers and even protestors are. All you see on your TV screens are a group of dishevelled people, shouting and yelling words you can only guess at, certainly cannot pronounce, and will never remember come the end of 3 seconds. But I do understand those words. I do understand what they are saying, and I shall never forget it. "I have 4 children!" shouted one mother "this is all they have ever known!" another wipes her tears, as she weilds a plastic toy to the security forces "take this to your own children" she says "take it, and tell them what you did in this place today."
Even as I write this, I feel the response of the world. "So?" I hear "who cares? They shouldn't have been there anyway." Indifference is worse than hate, they say. All I hear from the world is stony indifference at the very real sacrifice of these people.

Let us move away from personal issues. Heart rendering, I assure you, but we cannot make policies on whether or not people will cry in their beds at night for the rest of their days.
I ask every Israeli who supports the Gaza pullout, "what does this acheieve?" Will it bring peace? Of course not. They know it, and tell me so. Will it increase attacks from Gaza to Israel? Certainly. Rocket attacks have been an ongoing occurance from Gaza,into Israel since the plans to give Gaza away were publicised, only a few short months ago. So if it won't bring peace, and will cause more Israeli deaths and injuries, why are we giving it away?

There are two answers, both of which I hate intensly.

1) It brings the support of the USA closer to Israel. Israelis can be forgiven for wanting the support of the US government, who want the pullout, to Evangelical Christians, who oppose the pullout. I disagree with this argument because it makes Israel dependant on the USA - as if it is not dependant enough. Until Israel is strong enough to persue it's own agenda in the face of US opposition, nothing will ever get done. As the USA are the worlds strongest power today, we could be talking hundreds of years. I'd bet my hat Israel will be destroyed long before then.
2) It shows the world Israel is willing to sacrifice something for peace. To this, I laugh. Israel has been sacrificing not only it's land, but it's people, to peace every step of the way. Since when has the world ever been  pro-Israel? Once, when the world permitted them to make the state in the first place - and even that was a narrow vote. I don't believe the pullout will make any difference to the world, just like it never made a difference when Israel pulled out of Sinai, or any other of the 7 pullouts of it's territory. Ehud Barak, a former Israeli Prime Minister, is famed for accepting 97% of Arafat's territorial demands, but for refusing the 3% which made up Jerusalem, but compensated that for something else. Amazingly, Arafat rejected the deal. Does this sound like someone who wants peace? No way. When Arafat was alive, I once told this to an Englishman, born to Atheist parents, but who came from a strong Christian [extended] family. He had recently converted to Islam at the time. His response to this was "actually,it was 87%" - I believe I laughed out loud. His best defence was "actually, it was only 87%" - well, be happy with that! 87% of the loaf is better than no loaf, surely?
This only goes to prove that there is an ulterior agenda at hand, here. What is that agenda? I can reveal it isn't to have a garden tea party, not even to all hold hands and sit in a circle. No,it is to take not only the loaf, but the bakery - all Israel.

I don't understand why it is so difficult to see that. I can only conclude it is all political. Israel needs the west, and therefore must do as the west says, more often than not. Back to Gaza. Why am I opposed to it? Why are all those protestors opposed to it?

1) It sets a precedent.
Though there are other pullout precedents, this is the first to take place in recent times, and indeed, after the death of Arafat. Just like Israel pulled out of Gaza, it will be expected to pull out of other areas, such as the West Bank.

2) It solves nothing, and actually harms Israel.
It doesn't bring peace, and the Gaza will invariably be used as a base to attack Israel from. As Hamas said, "with the Gaza pullout, comes the death of Israel." Of course, the world turns a blind eye to this, and is willing to gamble with Jewish blood that it will,in fact, bring peace. Excuse me if i'm not so optimistic.

3) When has giving away land ever solved problems?
It hasn't. Despite several pullouts by Israel, we are still with the same problem.

Therefore my opposition is founded upon past actions, and upon the perspective of both the Palestinians and Israelis (points one and two respectively). Becuase everything needs perspective. If I was in the place of the average Ahmid, I would think "brilliant! Israel has pulled out of Gaza, due to our pressure, and the pressure the world affords us. Next, we will get the West Bank! It may take a couple of decades, and thousands of suicide bombs, but we will win in the end." It is nothing more than false hope, and inviting violence. If Ariel Sharon's (the Israeli PM) words are to be believed, if the Gaza does turn into a hotbed of militants, as I suspect, even I feel sorry for the average Ahmid, for the reprisals will not be pretty, and I suspect the leash of the US administration is about to snap right off.

********
My days here
*****

Ok, no more politics. Kind of. Living in Israel means living in the limelight. Israel is the centre of world attention, and politics plays a major part in every day life. Getting in a taxi is to talk to the taxi driver, who is,by the way, the absolute authority on Israeli and world politics. The taxi driver hears all, and knows all, nothing escapes him. He is also very opinionated, and depending on who you get, you will be swayed either way.
Whilst in the Jewish section of Jerusalem, I saw a Brizilian TV-man who was filming. I was walking in front of him, and decided it would be ironic for me to take a picture of the picture-taking man, which I did.
The beach here is amazing. The sun sets over the ocean, and it kind of sinks into the sea. It is absolutely brilliant. Especially so, as I have a sea-view room. Being here is the stuff made of dreams, it really is. To say I absolutely love being here, and enjoy it immensely, is to give luke-warm testament to my feelings.

I am currently staying in the most exclusive part of Israel (meh heh heh. The ambassador of Slovenia lives near me [It feels great to say that] - and I must say, for such a poor country, their ambassador does not have a shabby house at all!). I'm quite near Tel-Aviv, which is on the West coast of Israel, and is a port and beach city. It is probably the biggest city in Israel. I have to say that everything here puts the green lands of England to shame. The airport is exquisite, the health service beats the NHS hands down from 500 yards. The pharmacies here are mini-hospitals, upon calling them up for a blood test, a friend of mine got to see a doctor within 3 hours (as opposed to the weeks it takes in the UK) and was given the results within 15 minutes of the test (as opposed to the 4 to 7 weeks of the NHS - if they haven't lost your record of it by then).

****
"Take me to Tel-Aviv city, where the grass is brown, and so are the girls"
***

Ok, ok, adapted slightly. And the grass isn't really brown, it's as green as England's, despite the temperature being a massive 30 degrees minimum, every day of the summer.

Right about now, I'd usually make a comment like "the wild life is exotically tasty - no, not the animals, the girls" but I shall restrain myself, and only mention instead, that Israel is the land where all the girls are pretty, and most of them are Jewish.

The hotel is amazing. I'm extremely happy here, hehehe - despite the fact that the majority of the hotel is French - they even have French menus, and French text, and other French-based things. But it was during evening prayers (yes, I pray) where I saw a kid. I say kid, I mean baby. I believe my exact thoughts were "aww! I want me one of those!" There are babies, and there are cute babies. This baby was 11 on a cute scale of 1-10. But how to get a baby? For that, however, I need a girl. Or a crowbar and directions to the local hospital. *sigh.* Though the latter is infinitly easier, I fear the former is the only way to do this properly. But where to find a girl? You'd think it wasn't hard, considering there are about 3 billion of them out there. In England, I always wondered where the girls were. Now I know - in Israel, by the beach. Most sadly, they all have boyfriends. But salvation was at hand (ahh, the sweet, sweet irony and "inappropriateness" of that comment. I just realised there are several ways to ake that comment, and masturbation was not one of them. What, don't get it? "At hand" - HAND - oh, never mind) - but yes, salvation. For within the hotel walls, despite half the girls being French (I have since found out they are, in fact, from Morroco), and despite the rest being underage, or looking underage but being 30-married-with-two-kids, or being as short as Tom Thumb, but being considerably older....there is, in total, one English speaking girl here. Although this morning at breakfast I spotted another two. All three are from England, which is cool. However, only one of them is not out of bounds. This same one is about my age, and this same one, is also quite pretty. Now, I don't base things simply on looks - sorry, i'm one of those weird guys who thinks about "personality" and appreciates the beauty of each individual for who they are (and I would say to every person out there, do not undermine your own worth, by comparing yourself to others) and other such nonsense. As I was saying, this girl is pretty in her own right. Ok, she's also pretty by any standards. And she has ellegant feet. Well, i'm sorry, they were just there, screaming for attention. Anyway. What's more, this girl probably lives about a 15 minute walk away from my house. Sadly, she is escorted everywhere by her father. No, it's not his wife - I did think about it - but addressing him as "dad" and this older version of herself as "mum" kind of ruled that out. When it's not her father escorting her, it's her brother, or the entire family. I most certainly am not going to ask a girl out in front of her entire family - or worse, her father. Fathers alone are far worse than a father with family. It's logical. Either way, I shall stalk her, find her room number, and sit outside her door with binoculars, and follow her around everywhere, every so often issuing strange noises. Ok, I was kidding. I hope everyone knows that. Instead, I plan to get to know her a bit better. This means "date" but I like to reserve the word "date" for girls I already know, and would like to go out with, rather than applying the term to a stroll down the waterfront with a perfect stranger. Yes,that's just one of my quirks. I think it's better to get to know someone before dating them, or date them for a long while, rather than short while. It's an issue where no one I know agrees with me. *sigh.* Alas.
To be frank, I don't really think I have a chance with this girl - not due to my own looks (I am really,really goodlooking. Yeah, ok, but you don't know any better, do you?) but due to socio-geographic issues. If she's staying in Israel for a year,like me, woo! If not, which i suspect, then...ah, well. Anyway, to be frank, I don't really like this girl. Even though she is pretty, and has pretty feet. Why aren't there any JAPs in my hotel? Maybe in Jerusalem. Oh. Ny JAPs, I don't mean Japanese. I mean, of course, "Jewish American Princesses." These girls are the stuff from legends. I saw two with my own eyes. My very own eyes. Are they pretty? "Pretty" becomes such an inadequate word when describing them.

Anyway, enough about all this nonsense. Into other news:
I now have a hat. Yes, it's true! I have a hat. This is cool. I like my hat, and have worn it a grand total of 0 times outside the shop. This will change once my parents and family leave this Friday.
The hat is black, and has a brim, and I am determined to take a few pictures of me looking like a a gangster out of a 1930's Hollywood film.

Photos of the areas I have visited do exist, but I only have a film camera, and therefore do not have any means of showing them to you all.Yet. They are not developed. But I assure you, I'll try to get you to see them. It may take a few months until I return, but see them you shall. If i'm still keeping a blog, that is.
Apologies for the long post, just so much to say. Now, some advice:

1) Come to Israel.
2) When think about going to the Arab market, don't. Unless you remove all non-muslims items of religious garb - crosses and such - and if female are dressed in clothes covering the arms and legs - and of course, neck. If you are unsure as to your sex, cover up as suggested here. Take no risks. Really.
3) Hold you wallet tight. Pick-pockets are rife in these markets.
4) If you're mad enough to shake someone's hand, watch your ring. All too often, it tends to "get lost" in handshakes....
5) If you're a woman, be prepared to be the interest of mass-male curiosity. And be forewarned, the streets are tight, and for your sake, I hope your clothes are not.
6) Enjoy! Woo!

ISRAEL -- to think that I've been in the country for under 10 hours, haven't even slept, and within the 10 minutes of exploring I undertook, found an internet cafe. Don't worry! I'm not that far gone that I need a regular fix. In an unfortunate turn of events, I have been locked out my hotel room, and therefore have nothing to do. Armed with a wad of New Israel Shekels, and a 1.5 litre bottle of Fanta, I have a few hours to go before I pluck up the courage to approach the scary-looking lady in charge of the hotel, and explain what happened - thereby making myself look like an entire fool.

The flight was as expected, food nice, etc. It was a night flight, and I didn't sleep a wink, however. This may have had something to do with the girl sitting next to me, or the guy on the other side who kept poking me. Either way, I didn't feel comfortable between the two of them and all my 2 inches of leg room to actually fall asleep. I have therefore had very little sleep in the past 24 hours (about 2 hours, actually, in the hotel lobby).
One last point about the flight, I believe El-Al (the Israeli airline) flights are the only ones in the world, where the passengers clap and cheer upon landing in Israel. I landed at about 6:00am, to the cheers of hundreds of people. What a nice thing!

There are a lot of French people about, and they all assume I speak French (which, of course, I attempt to do). I never expected to speak French in Israel, but here I am, currently sitting next to two young girls who asked me about a computer problem they had, and which I solved, all in French. Someone else in the hotel started to speak to me in French, and I responded, again, in French. Frankly, I've spoken more French than Hebrew today. Even more frankly, I think i've spoken more French today, than I did on my entire holiday in france a few years ago.

This internet cafe is charging 6 shiny new Israeli Shekels for every 15 minutes of use on the net. With an exchange rate of about 8.02 shekels to the pound, it's about 70 pence every 15 minutes, which is very expensive considering in London the price is about one pound an hour (where are the pound signs on these Israeli keyboards?! I fear they are American keyboards.)

Anyway. I don't actually start the college until September. I am here with family at the moment, and when they leave, there'll be a few days before I start college where I'm all on my lonesome.

The pull out of Gush Katif is on the 17th, so I've chosen interesting times to come to Israel. I am against the pull out. But alas, it has been decided to go ahead, and Sharon is now under pressure to deliver, and would look like a fool to back out now, despite the outrage of the Israeli public.

On another note, there are an awful lot of cats and dogs here. They all have rabies. The heat is dry, and hurts. A lot. Anyway, take care. Must leave. There's someone standing behind me watching and I'm slightly freaked out. Yes, girl standing behind me, I mean you. Bye for now!

I gathered up that broken heart,
Left folorn through stromy night, 
Or the rude sun-rays which make the day;
Vanquished through repulse by she,
Evidentaly hurt and sad was he, 
Yet their pride had stepped between,
Onto the fore, where it should've never been.
Until now my thoughts had been,
Such that only I could see,
Oh, how wish I to confide in one,
Who what to do would know.
I now hold that heart within my hands,
Thicker now you see, with hurt. So I
Held it near and close to me,
And sheltered it from stromy night;
Like that for many days we sat,
Like that I was sat alone,
My heart still sat within my hands.
Yes, how love cuts deep within,
How it you can hurt and maim,
Easily so, so be warned one and all,
And take my case as example cruel,
Recall now dear, how love like pain can sear, for
The very deepest love, leaves the very deepest scars.

I was unsure whether to make this poem gender specific, and if so, which genders to use where. After changing genders around about 3 times, at the last minute I went with what it has now for simplicity. This poem houses my most complex subliminal message yet, which consists of 4 lines each 24 letters long. It took me about two weeks to comeplete this poem, and it underwent about 5 versions of which I kept 2. I thought the other was inferior to this, so this is the one you have. The subliminal message can be attained through a logical process, and one which I shall not reveal to you - it's more fun if you fine it allby yourself. I'll start you off though, with the easiest line - yes, I'm taking away the chance for you to find the easiest line and feel accomplished. Meh heh heh. That line can be found by reading the initial letters downwards, from top to bottom. It reads "I love you so, with all my heart." As to the last line, I was unsure what to say, so it is as it is. I don't think anyone will find it. Not because I don't think you're capable of finding it, but because I know most of you don't have the inclination to find it. Like Potnoodleboy. Those who do have the inclination will get discouraged shortly after, because really, they aren't dedicated enough to find it. And after you've all read this, you'll start to do it to spite me, then realise you really aren't dedicated enough, and that I was right, and then you'll deny to yourself that you aren't dedicated, and push it from your mind with detramental words to me and my poem. Meh heh heh heh heh. You know I'm right.

I envisage one person who will be able to find it, entirely through luck, but who is bright enough to extend what they know of the finding the second line, to the third and fourth line. That's Cat. ;-)
I envisage one more person who is clever at these things, and should she be bothered to do it, she'll do it. That person is Mindy.
Arty is too busy to do such things, and so she won't do it, though she'll have an intellectual interest in what the message is.
PNB is the clever type who doesn't have the inclination to do it.
Jo probably won't even see this, and if she does, she won't bother, thinking it's too difficult anyway, when in truth, she stands as much chance as Cat of finding it - and initially she was the only person I thought of who would find it. And if she reads all that, she still won't do it, regardless. And now she's read this, she won't do it on principle. And if I was wrong with my last comment, I know she'll certainly not do it now, because I said she wouldn't do it on principal. Jo's the funnest person to predict because she can be so contrary.
Ginger Rosie is the type who does have the inclination to begin with, but 4 seconds later, gives up.
Nor. Ahh. I forgot about Nor. Nor strikes me as the fellow to read all this, think "what nonsense is this pommy boy speaking now?" and find it three seconds flat, only to prove me wrong on everything i've said thus far. Nor's the second funnest person to predict, purely because he's from Aussieland. And he's Nor.
Biscuit is the fellow who'll say "Meh. Poems" and move on.

And that's all of you summed up nicely.

------

The real stuff

Ok, ok. So it's not THE very last post - only the last post from England. I think. I may very well get a post in by Sunday, but if not, this is the very last post from England.

Why? Because, my dear children, I leave this Sunday (precisely two days from this day) to go to the middle east.
For the past 7 months, my mother's been almost bursting into tears, dreading the moment when I leave to be over 3,000 miles away from the glorious city [whatever I or anyone else says about it] which is London.

I will, as you should all know by now, be residing in Jerusalem, a city as old as your Aunt Marge, and as steeped in history as mount Everest is steep - and Everest is very steep. I will be in a most modern area, about a 20 minute walk away from the Western [also known as "Wailing"] Wall (which is the last remaining wall of the Second Temple built in Jerusalem) - which, as you may or may not know, is close to the Dome of the Rock - which is, in fact, just on the other side of the Western Wall. As to why that should be so, the Dome is built upon the most holy Jewish site of all, the western wall was merely the wall behind that site. The Dome was built there specifically because it was a Jewish holy site - either to upset all the Jews, or because the Muslims also believe it to be a holy site, or both, depending how pessimistic/realistic/dreamy/religious/fundamental you are. Of course, it houses a rock (hence the name) which is said to have been where the Arch Angel Gabrial's horse hoof touched the rock whilst revealing himself to Mohummed. The current dome was built sometime in the 1800's to the best of my knowledge, whilst the rest of the building was built sometime between 650 and 700 CE. It is rumoured the building suffers from flooding.

I start college on the 1st September, but am leaving on the 14th of August to 1) go on holiday (2) settle in, but mainly for the holiday. During this time, I'll be staying in a most exclusive area (meh heh heh) the location of which I may not reveal, but, is within spitting distance of the Arab section.

Anyway. I'm actually fasting this Sunday. Events in the Jewish calander can be divided into exactly three simple groupings: the first being the "they tried to kill us, they lost, we won, let's eat" catagory, the second is the "they tried to kill us, we're still here so they didn't win, but they did a damn good job, let's fast" (which this sunday falls into) and the third is where everything else doesn't fit. Given the grim nature of Jewish history, we do a lot of eating and fasting. The last fast was just under three weeks ago, the next fast is in about 4 weeks time.

The Jewish calander works in such a way that, an event which happens on day one of month one, will be the exact same day is happened in any other year. This means that in the secular calander, New Years eve won't always be on (e.g.) a Monday. In the Jewish calander, the Jewish New Year will. So, on Sunday, terrible events occurred. It is without a doubt one of the darkest days in the Jewish calander. The Tablets of stone are said to have been broken by Moses on this day, the first and second temples were destroyed on this day (586 BCE and 70 CE respectively), the Expulsion of the Jews from Spain (in 1492), and more besides. A dark time indeed.

A quick word on Rome. Three weeks ago, the Romans broke through the walls of the city of Jerusalem. I don't know if any of you know of the walled city of Jerusalem, but it's a quick walk from the walls to the temple mount. Yet it took three weeks for the most highly trained armies of the world (and probably most disciplined to have ever existed) to get to the temple mount, and from there it took 9 days to set it on fire. Josephus writes a biased account of what happened, which (incidentally) i've read. But it's amazing it took so long for such an army to subdue the city - it gives you some idea of the bloody battle which took place. Just for your information, it took something like 12 years for 4 legions to subdue a country you could drive from length to bredth in under a day. A legion consists of about 6,000 men. The military commander was one Vespasian (who later became Roman Emperor, directly after his conquest of Israel) and later Titus (who was Vespasian's eldest son. Daddy left Titus to take Jerusalem, the last remaining city, after he moved away to become emperor. I believe Vespasian took Egypt, which supplied Rome with grain - the Senate in Rome would have been fools to deny Vespasian, a most accomplished General who now occupied Egypt, the Empire). Anyway. This fast commemorates all that and more.

Shopping is a most evil thing. It requires walking, and attention: the very two things I prefer not to do. So i've been putting off shopping for Israel for about 3 weeks so far, but yesterday, I finally bit the bullet and shopped.

Well, to be fair, I had to return a waterproof poncho I borrowed from Jo when we went to Thorpe Park before I left (this sunday evening!) and she happened to be going shopping yesterday, and so graciously invited me to tag along, which is what happened. Upon arrival in her town, I went to the local Tesco Extra (I've never heard of those until yesterday) to buy two egg sandwiches in white bread for 99 pence each. I walked out later with £60 worth of clothes.

Amazing! I never knew Tesco did clothes as well. It was exactly what I was looking for. The stuff there was cheap cheap cheap, and I knew I wouldn't be able to find clothes with prices like these anywhere in London. "You get what you pay for" is a worthy comment to mention right about now, but let us not forget that not only am I sharing a room with two other people, i'm sharing it with Americans. Alas. Once I move to Israel, I shall be only one of three English folk in my entire year! This is, indeed, a travesty.

The point is, however, that by the time my roomates have finished borrowing my socks, shirts, and other assorted items of clothing, I shall not see half of it again. Indeed, I expect to lose a full 30% of clothing by the time I get back 9 months later. Therefore, buying good quality stuff for this next year just isn't prudent. I did, however, get a "luxury silk tie" for £4, three shirts for £5 each, a pair of shoes (yes, they do shoes!) for £20, and the list goes on.

Now I can't help but wonder which country all these clothes were made in - surely low prices are at the expense of child labour somewhere in Sudan, where they're underpaid and overworked? And yet if I didn't buy this stuff, someone else would have, fueling the demand - because, lets face it, a minority abstaining from buying this stuff doesn't alleviate the problem. And anyway if there was no demand, the supermarkets wouldn't sell these clothes and therefore there would be no jobs for these kids in Sudan, and they'd starve to death. Such are the evils of the Supermarkets.  

After this, I met Jo - who I SHOULD have met 30 minutes previously, but was in Tesco so didn't. Alas. Yes, Jo, that's what I was doing .... sorry!

We went to some shopping mall or other, the name of which I never knew. We went into Dorothy Perkins (which, for those who do not have such shops in their lands, is a woman's shop). Upon arrival, I tried on a red top, and examined some jewelry (for my sister. Not the top, the jewelry). Deciding that this really wasn't the shop for me, I exited the building (after visiting Orange, and H.Samuels) to sit and eat the afforementioned sandwiches. An old man sat next to me on the bench and I began talking to him. Interesting fellow. Originally from London (quite near to where I am) he served in the army during WW2, fought in France, Holland and Germany. He has a daughter, and a son - the son lives in california, and has two grandchildren, who both live not far from Arty (you reading this arty? WOO! Not far from you!). He receives e-mail from his NTL TV from his grandkids. He told me he's 86, wife died two years ago, he has a burrial plot next to her. We spoke about the war, and about modern politics and modern warfare, and religion (not in that order) then he left to go back home, and i left to meet with Jo + family again.

Afterwards, the Jo family did some food shopping in Tesco's whilst I looked around Tesco's clothes part again (I purposefully didn't buy all the clothes shopping in one go, so i could look about in other shops some more....) - after that, I helped with the shopping by pushing the trolley. WOO! That's the most fun part. And then I helped pack it up into bags. and then we all left in our respective cars, and I got back home, and did something or other which I can't remember. But it was quite an active day.

Until next time.

CENSORED.

-----
Update
---

This post has been repressed. There is no such thing as love. Despite my poems. I repeat. This post has been repressed. Love you Cat ;-)
But not really. The entire post was simply to get her worried. Though she DID say all that I said she said. So i'm not duping the readers. Not really.

Err...anyway. Rosie, in the unlikely event we get married, we have already selected a male to be the maid of honour, and a female to be the best man.

Nor, that thought crossed my mind actually, lol.

Love you 'til Infinity

Love you from the early morn,
Love you from the hazy dawn,
Love you 'till the later hours,
Love you 'till the moonlight cowers,
Love you from the winter cast,
Love you from the snowy past,
Love you 'till the August *****,
Love you 'till the summers ****,
Love you from the greeny earth,
Love you from the very birth,
Love you 'till the furthest star,
Love you 'till the outer nebula,
Love you with the deepest part,
Love you, ****************.

Well, if you accuse me of being heartwarming, I'll live up to it! So there!
But alas, it is true. I went away for a few weeks and took the oppertunity of seclusion from the internet world to write a poem or two. These were, indeed, heartwarming poems.

When I first started writing poetry, I used my own life, emotions, feelings, etc. as the subject - invariably, the poem would be about myself. For example, my very first poem I wrote whilst watching a sunset on a park bench - and that's exactly what the poem was about. Then, the last few lines would reflect my feelings and thoughts (a dangerous glimpse inside my head that many are still recovering from, even as we speak). But since then, I no longer necessarily write about my own experiences. Furthermore, the author of the poem doesn't necessarily have to have someone in mind, to write a poem. Therefore poems are not "about" people, or "for" anyone (hey, Cat darlin' ;)

Explanation of poem: quick 'n' easy
I got the idea for the above poem at 1:00am a few weeks ago, as I got to bed. The first few lines sort of just came to me. Inspiration. The next morning, I took the time to write those lines down, and write the rest of the poem. The idea is that love is infinite, and all things mentioned in the poem are infinite. Space is infinite. The earth continues to rotate on it's axis indefinitely. Day and night pass one after the other, as do the seasons (time), continuously. Therefore the "love you from.....'til..." is cleverly (if I may say so myself) made totally redundant - where does space start? Where does it end? Where does the poet's (it just seems less sentimental to speak about myself in third person here) love begin? More importantly, where does it end? The answer to the first question is everywhere, and to the second, nowehere. The poet's love does not end, it just is, and continues to be...

If you've noticed, the poem starts off with things meaningful only on the earth, where humans are - time has no use on Mars, as there are no people there (and our 24 hour watches would have trouble with the 25.5 hour day). Then it moves on to bigger parts of time: the seasons. Then to earth itself, and then to space. What follows is described as "the deepest part" - even greater, even more "infinite" (if you know what I mean by that) than space itself. And that's where the poem unexpectedly ends and is followed by a bunch of stars. Well. At least for you. The stars are there intentionally. Although i've written the entire poem, I have chosen not to disclose it in it's entirety, until I have someone to give the poem to. It may very well be that i'll decide the person I love lots and lots wouldn't at all like the above poem, and so it shall remain starred out for - you guessed it - eternity.
-------------------

Passion

Inside me something's burning,
Love hotter than the hottest sun,
Or brighter than the brightest star,
Voulmes louder than the sea,
Even rougher than the roughest wave,
Yet, more tender than a tender rose,
Or lighter than the smallest feather,
Unbreakable but made of glass,
Delicate moreso than any crystal,
Even stronger than bars of steel,
And tougher than the toughest diamond,
Robust as mountains if not more,
Larger even than space,
Yearning within me it is;
More valuable than purest gold,
Or treasures where within are found,
Rarities untouched by human hands,
Even older than the earth it is,
Thicker than the thickest bond,
Higher than the highest tree,
And taller than the buildings will ever be,
Nicer than the nicest feelings,
Yondmost hither found,
Overtly blissful it makes one feel,
Untamed, yet captive in my heart;
Closer than the closest friend,
Or nearer still than relatives,
Undiluted passions swirl,
Livlier than the living beings,
Dedicated, yet not to excess;
Eternal, moreso than the universe,
Valuable beyond our imaginations,
Endless beyond what is endless,
Real beyond touch and feel,
Knowing it beyond words of books,
Needful of it beyond air itself,
One heartbeat missed, gone right to the next:
W*************************

A bit on the poem

People seem to like the above poem more than the last one, but I have to say, my own preference is for the first one. I've been trying to write a poem like this one for a long period of time, but never really got around to it, and when I did, I didn't know where to begin. I've only ever written one other poem like this, where I asked the question "what is love?" - which resulted in the poem attempting to describe what love is "made out of" and concluding simply that "love is more than words." That poem was an experiment I am now glad I took on, though I wasn't really pleased with the actual content (I just read it again recently, and it doesn't seem to shabby as I first thought! But then, every poem of mine has to be perfect, or close to it as possible, which may explain how I can be overly critical of every word, let alone poem). The poem of which I speak was written in the shape of a heart (a hard task. This was the experiment) - every word had to be thought out carefully, one letter too long or short, and the heart lost shape, and all the lines written previously would be for nought. Unfortunately, no one has actually seen that poem in all it's glory yet, as the internet doesn't like spaces. The poem is located here. I therefore rest in solace, with the thought that if one places a mirror next to the poem, it completes the heart (kind of) which teaches an important lesson: the quickest way to gain love, is to give it - it's a two way street.

The above poem therefore had humble beginnings. As you can see, it took me about 7 months to write another poem like it. Yes, 7 months. Perfection is the key, even more important than originality [that rhymes!]. 7 long month's I waited for an idea, and with each month, of course, the poem had to be more special. Is the above poem worth a 7 month wait? I don't know, and neither do I care: I like the poem for what it is, rather than what I would like it to be.

It takes me hours to write some poems (generally the love poems) and the poem at the top of the page, and the poem here, are no exceptions. There is a subliminal message contained within the poem (as some of you already know). Subliminal messages in poems are not common in the English language (although Edgar Allan Poe did a subliminal one for his Valentine) - it is much more common in the Hebrew language, where poets generally like to sign their names in the poem. Thus armed with the idea from the Hebrew language, and armed with Poe's poem and the knowledge that it is entirely possible to write such a poem in the English language, I began writing. The above is the result.
The subliminal message reads "I love you dearly, more than you could ever know" and can be read by reading the initial letters of each line. The last line is not complete. I have actually written the last line, but again, the only person to see it will be the person I give it to - and if no such person exists, it shall be lost forever. I would like to publish my poems some day, and if published, I shall still include all the stars. If the publishers don't wish to publish an "unfinished" poem - that's just too bad. Of course, I like these poems, and therefore, will be ever so careful who I give them too (hey there Arty dearest ;-) and ensure they're really special people (Cat :p) who I like very much (hey Jo ;) and want to run away with and have many kids with (potnoodleboy, how's it going ;) in that seculded forest I spoke about on my very first post. No, I haven't forgotten: my plan is still to elope with my one true love to a far away forest, away from society, to live on the land. Of course, i'll come into town every so often to use the internet (money will be obtained by selling surpluss greenbeans [the vegetable, PNB, not the money]).
-------------------------

Not so Lost love

It is cutting through me -
A searing pain of strength untold,
Of that love which went so wrong;
And I am now left in the cold.
My only sin was to be bold,
To tell to you my secret dear,
Of how I longed to hold you near.
So many months would then go by,
And so I, enveloped in rejection clear,
Could now be heard to sit and sigh.
Though now I yearn I'd never tried -
That thought ought been pushed aside - but
A foolishness unheard of far and wide,
Had lain it's grip upon me clear,
And possessed thus, I then drew near;
Shortly after, heart in two,
I reatreated, and speedily withdrew.
So sad an error I had made, when
Upon your hands I'd lain my heart,
Behold, for it you'd cared not,
And away to the side you'd cast it.
There it lay, but that love languished not,
It continued even now, it grew; it did not rot.
The day will dawn when I, from an aching heart shall be free,
And after all the mis'ry, my heart I'll give to someone else.

I've always said my best poetry is written in the early morning - or at least, that's when I get a lot of the ideas of my poems. I don't know why. But that's what happens. Sometimes I look at the moon, and inspiration dawns. Sometimes I just search myself, and get inspiration there (the greatest source of inspiration, of course, is oneself). At other times, in the extremes of emotion, the words just come to me. This poem was written in the early morning. It also has a subliminal message, but is not as obvious as the poem above it.

If you take the first letter of the first line, the second letter of the second line, the third letter of the third line, the fourth letter of the fourth line and so on, all the way through the poem (obviously not including punctuation marks), it spells out a message. The person in the poem cannot - indeed, could not - show their love for the person in question. Just like the message hidden in the poetry, the person had hidden their feelings within themselves.
The hidden message is merely the hidden feelings translated into words. I'm sure most if not all, have been hurt at least once by someone, for whatever reason. As usual, I've kept it gender free to allow the reader to really get inside the poem, and see how it applies to themselves.
Being hurt means you get upset: it doesn't necessarily mean you stop loving that person (of course, that's not always
true). This is reflected in the poem. Despite being hurt, despite the insistance that "I'll find someone else," we find
all too often that there never was anyone else. It should come as no surprise then, that the hidden message reads:

I still love you pure and clear.

Sadly, we never know what love looks like, until it walks away. But it isn't always too late. 
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I am currently writing a poem which will have an even more complex subliminal message. I have written a short poem, 5 lines long, each line being exactly 24 letters long, which I shall insert into a larger poem. It may take a bit of time, and I am still attempting to find a logical method of obtaining all the subliminal messages. It's a working progress, and I've almost cracked it.

Until then. Take care, children.

The past few days have been one of sheer and utter drama. Many insane, unlikely happenings have taken place - but then, that comes as no surprise as I myself am insane. Here's a quick flashback of said insane happenings, for your general amusement:

Insanity: Conversation 1

Me: Here, take this pillow. It'll make you more comfortable.
Male Friend: If you were a girl, i'd fall in love with you.
Me: *raises eyebrows*

Insanity: Conversation 2

Me: *answers phone* Hi! How's it going?
Friend: I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
Me: *raises eyebrows*

Insanity: Inside a restaurant

Me: Yum! These chips are love--
Friend 1: What's the matter DJ?
Me: *closes eyes*
Friend 1: Tired?
Me: *puts finger to lips*
Friend 1: Not hungry?
Me: *gets up to be sick in bathroom*

Insanity: Convo 3

Friend: I hate her.
Me: Mmm.
Friend: I really like her.
Me: Mmhmm.
Friend: And she likes me.
Me: Ahh.
Friend: *bad words escape lips in reference to said girl*
Me: *raises eyebrows*

Insanity: Nightmares

Someone I don't know, but appears to be connected to my client: So, when will you have this website ready for us? Can you do it? *wink wink, implications that I can't*
Me: By the start of next week.
Client guy: I hope it's going to be good

*dream fizzles out and changes to me driving*

Me: *driving along a road which i've seen before in another dream, though I don't know where it is. It is narrow, and there are large houses on it. The side where the houses are on are lined with trees and bushes, which are overgrown slightly. I don't know what's on the other side, but there is a pavement (sidewalk) on the side of the houses. There is no sound. I look towards the pavement and see someone. I get annoyed at the fact that they're there. He sees me, and turns red, looking at me apologetically. He goes up a path leading to one of the houses, and a girl comes out. It appears they're going on a date. I feel really annoyed and upset.*

[NOTE: The above dream would be very revealing, except i don't know anyone who fits the above description, and the face of the guy was no one I knew. I didn't see the face of the girl, but I recognised her hair.]

*dream fizzles out into me on a pavement*

Me: *walking along a street with a rather large pavement. I know where I am. It is the day. I see a girl I know walking along. She looks nothing like she actually does, but I simply know it's her (hey, it's a dream. Things don't need to make sense). She ignores me entirely. I'm a bit surprised and upset, then I remember we're not talking anymore. Then i'm even more upset.*

NOTE: The girl in the dream above IS currently talking to me, I am pleased to say. In fact, I don't know any person who isn't talking to me, or vice versa. I try to get along with everyone, you see...
This is more surprising when I find I spent my entire day with the girl in the last dream yesterday, from about 8:00am to 7:20ish pm.

And that brings me nicely to what I did yesterday.
Jo and myself went to Thorpe Park, and had a brilliant time! Well, at least I had a brilliant time. I feel sure she did too. Going to bed at 1:00am the previous night and waking up at 5:47am (to turn off my alarm at 5:48am. Yes, 5:48. Don't ask why, I have no idea) I drove to her town (yes, drove. muahaha), picked her up and away we went!

I started the engine, and stalled. Yes, what a good first impression of my driving skills. No matter, we got there and back in [surprisingly] one piece - and the car did too. Up bright and early, one might have imagery of dishevelled hair, bleary eyes and short temper. But not Jo. Oh no. Her hair was done up, makeup was worn, earings in place and she had on the most delicious perfume ever [ok, ok. It was the one I got her, so I may be biased. Jo, you can slip me a fiver under the table for this good Public Relations image i'm giving you later].  

Despite going on 2 water rides, Jo's makeup was perfectly in place by the end of it all. Despite wearing waterproofs, I did think it would run a bit. This reminds me somewhat of Mary Poppins - her hair and posture always remains in place despite doing such activities as flying. Notice how, in the storm, some nannies are holding onto lamposts to stop themselves flying away, but Ms. Poppins floats down, perfect hair, perfect everything. As the film later says, "perfect in every way."

Another thing. Jo doesn't scream in rides. Oh no. She smiles. Yes, it's true! Whilst some people scream, other people put on funny faces, and others still flinch, blanche, or are sick...despite being thrown about from side to side, turned upside down and subjected to 5Gs at the same time, Jo keeps smile in place. Mary Poppins? I think so.

My reactions on rides are pretty much the same. At one point, I was casually talking to the guy sat next to me, at the same time as being thrown about and rotated quite fast (no, not the teacup ride). I even took the time to appreciate the view of the landscape whilst being upside down. I mean, it's not often that happens, so why not? And yes, I also smiled, and even laughed.

The thrills were amazing. Absolutely brilliant. You just have to put your trust in the machine, hope it doesn't break and in the words of the Matrix: free your mind. In short, I had a brilliant day out, and I would like to take the opportunity to cordially thank Jo for everything, from her directions which got us there, to the use of a waterproof poncho [which, incidentally, I failed to give back - and as I told Jo, it's a brilliant excuse to meet again before I leave!], to the actual day, and for coming with me :D