« Notepad | HomePage | Maccy D! »
11/07/2007
Maccy D!
Today I ate some food, as one does.
On my plate, there was chips and chicken. Lovely.
On the chicken, I put a thin layer of cheese and melted it...
Hmm? What?
For those unfamiliar with Jewish dietary laws, allow me to explain: mixing a meat dish together with a milk one is completely not allowed. No Big Macs with extra cheese - or any cheese. No ham on top of pizza. No "chicken and cheese" sandwiches. That's right.
And yet, here I am, an allegedly religious Jew cooking and eating foodstuffs in direct contradiction to centuries of traditions and laws. No, I'm not rebelling, nor have I renounced anything: of course, I was using vegetarian-mock-chicken, so dietary laws weren't actually an issue.
The mock chicken was tasted pretty chickeny (the texture was way off though), so I decided to see how a few slices of cheese would taste melted over the top of it. I have to say, after sampling this otherwise forbidden dish, the chicken and cheese combo is, in the words of Avril Lavigne's "girlfriend," "so whatever" and far, far from being "The Best Damn Thing" (hey, if i'm going with the avril theme, it's that theme all the way).
Needless to say, I was dissapointed.
Keeping this in mind, I wish to leave you all with a joke:
A rabbi and a priest were sitting next to each other on a long haul flight to one of the remotest parts of the world - California. Lunch was served. "Aha!" said the priest "your food is different to mine I see. Is this because you're Jewish and can't eat cheese and chicken which has been cooked together?" he enquired solemnly. "Uhh, yes" responded the rabbi. "I've bet you've tried it though" said the priest, winking. "Actually" said the rabbi "I have, once - when I was a young man and very curious as to what it would taste like. I snuck into a McDonalds and ordered meals to my heart's content. But I notice you are a man of the cloth. I understand that your rules forbid you from engaging in sexual relations." "Uhh, yes" responded the priest "this is true." "I bet you've tried it though!" says the rabbi. "Well, actually, yes, I have" said the priest "I was also a young man and could not control my passion...but since then, I have kept to the rules." "I understand" says the rabbi. A short period of silence followed, until the rabbi said "sex is better, isn't it?"
18:52 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (13) | Email this
Comments
Sorry, but who would want to eat chicken and cheese together anyway? It tastes horrid. And there is only one good use for melted cheese. On top of a pizza. Anywhere else, it is just wrong. (And I'm sure others disagree: that's just my opinion!)
There's only really one word to describe someone who uses vegetarian mock chicken instead of real chicken so that they don't break any Jewish diet laws. It's PHARISEE. :p
Sorry, you asked for that one (Editor's note: You can't actually say you're sorry, because you willfully and knowingly tried to insult me. Clearly, you're not sorry at all! Do lines!)
Posted by: Nossie | 11/07/2007
Actually, on second thoughts calling you a pharisee was a little harsh.
*does lines*
I must be nice to DJ.
I must be nice to DJ.
I must be nice to DJ.
Posted by: Nossie | 11/07/2007
I shall decide when meaness has been said on my blog, thank-you-very much! And I shan't hesitate to censor them, like I did in the past to you and like i've just done to arty now :P
I never really understood why Pharisee was so bad, even after reading the NT. I'm afraid I disgree with Jesus' perspective on things in the end...
Posted by: dj | 11/07/2007
*ignores DJ's disagreements with Jesus*
I only came to comment to say that I thought the joke was funny, and that chicken and cheese ARE nice together. I am sure though, that "mock chicken" and cheese probably aren't nice together. Hence your discovery. However, not being able to try the former combination was the point of your blog in the first place.
I digress. Funny joke!
Posted by: Helen | 12/07/2007
i had chicken and cheese yesterday at some mexican(ish) place, and it wasn't THAT BAD.
why can't you eat chicken and cheese together, though...?
or is it best not to ask...
Posted by: Cat | 12/07/2007
Can't eat it together 'cos the bible says so. It actually says "thou shalt not cook a goat in it's mother's milk" - a goat being meat, milk being milk. Thusly, cooking meat and milk is not allowed. To ensure this isn't broken, there was instituted the rule that even two uncooked milk and meat dishes may not be placed together into a single dish.
Quite hardcore, no?
Apparantly, there are health benefits to this too.
Posted by: dj | 12/07/2007
Explain those health benefits, please.
Posted by: arty | 12/07/2007
I quote:
"Many...think that the laws of kashrut are simply primitive health regulations that have become obsolete with modern methods of food preparation. There is no question that some of the dietary laws have some beneficial health effects. For example, the laws regarding kosher slaughter are so sanitary that kosher butchers and slaughterhouses have been exempted from many USDA regulations.
However, health is not the only reason [EDIT: as you'll read on, many do not believe it is the reason anyway] for Jewish dietary laws. Many of the laws of kashrut have no known connection with health. To the best of our modern scientific knowledge, there is no reason why camel or rabbit meat (both not kosher) is any less healthy than cow or goat meat [EDIT: that's not actually entirely true, see below for my comment]. In addition, some of the health benefits to be derived from kashrut were not made obsolete by the refrigerator. For example, there is some evidence that eating meat and dairy together interferes with digestion, and no modern food preparation technique reproduces the health benefit of the kosher law of eating them separately.
[CAT, read this next paragraph, I know you'll hate it, 'cos I always tell you it:]
The short answer to why we observe these laws is: because the Torah (law) says so. The Torah does not specify any reason for these laws, and for a Torah-observant, traditional Jew, there is no need for any other reason. Some have suggested that the laws of kashrut fall into the category of "chukkim," laws for which there is no reason. We show our obedience to G-d by following these laws even though we do not know the reason. Others, however, have tried to ascertain G-d's reason for imposing these laws. "
In my own investigations, red meat - yes, rabbit and pork - are generally considered to be the underlying reasons to diseases such as gout. Why isn't beef considered not-kosher then? I don't know.
Similarly, trichosis is a phenomena specific to pork. There are others. But in answer to arty's question about milk and meet, yeah, digestion.
Posted by: DJ | 12/07/2007
if you really want, I can go and open up some books written in the 12th, 15th centuries respectively and tell you what people thought the benefits and reasons about it were at that time - before modern, newfangled technologologological stuffums.
Posted by: DJ | 12/07/2007
*ponders whether or not she should make dj work for his keep*
Nah...I believe you. Interesting theories/laws/regulations, though! Thanks for that!
Posted by: arty | 12/07/2007
Actually, I am far, far more interested in DJ's reasons for believing the OT and not the NT...but that's probably a question that shouldn't be asked!
Posted by: Nossie | 13/07/2007
There's no such thing as a question that shouldn't be asked, nossie dear! And if anyone tells you that, it's either 'cos they have something to hide, or they just dont want to tell you (maybe because they have something to hide ;-)
Anyway, when you get around to asking me the question, I'll get around to answering it for you, how's that sound? =)
Posted by: DJ | 13/07/2007
That sounds fine.
Okay, so why do you believe the OT and not the NT? I always believed (in fact, still do believe!) that the two were inseparable, and that the prophecies of the OT were fulfilled in the NT.
And if that's not so, then who was Jesus?! It's certain that he was a historical figure, and not a figment of someone's imagination.
Posted by: Nossie | 13/07/2007
The comments are closed.