Picture Perfect

*-*-*-*For some reason*-*-*-*-

My new blog post isn't working, so here it is: http://pictureperfect.blogspirit.com/archive/2008/03/21/jewish-festival-and-african-american-cotton-picking.html

 

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A new day, a new post! So close together too!

The reason is because I love and tenderly care for all my blog readers, wrapping them in cotton-wool and bubblewra, protecting them from the horrors of the world. I have to make sure you guys can all get on in life. Without me, you are all lost souls.

Ok, I lied.
The reason is, I have to work - and as we all know, anything but work is so much more appealing than the work you have to do - which usually has a strict deadline, by the way.

 

I decided to make a post because I think we are strange. We live in strange times, here in the west, where girls can be boys and boys can be girls, and everyone is right about everything even if they're wrong, and damnation to you if you can prove beyond reasonable doubt that one individual has more propensity to do well in one thing than another individual. Especially bad if you make a statement like "generally speaking, girls are bad at chess" (you really are, girls! Most girls don't even want to play chess, and those I know that do are terrible at it!) or "boys are good at everything!" 

I actually couldn't think of anything boys are stereotypically bad at, that's actually important...Ergo, boys are good at everything. Everything important.

 

Ok, I think I'm done with being vaguely politically incorrect! Back to work for me!!

Bye bye, and please come again. 

Hmm.
It's been a while, hasn't it? I've been rather busy. But I hear you ask, busy doing what? What could a professional layabout (read: student) have been doing to keep himself occupied?

The truth is, I've been busy with having fun, talking to Cat on msn, very rarely with university work, but mainly looking for one of those job things that common people get from time to time. Something to do with doing work in return for money.

 

As such, I've been very busy looking at job adverts and replying to them, very boring stuff indeed. Here are some of the most cliched phrases in the world. If you're advertising, please please please, don't use them. They're ever so boring.

 

Looking for enthusiastic people.
...No way?! You want people to be enthusiastic about your business - want them to do their work well? Rather your employees didn't tell clients how boring selling tea/rubber/something is?

Looking for young, enthusiastic people.
Similar to the one above. Whenever I see this I think "porn baron" and skip the ad. Seriously. Think about it. Why else would "enthusiastic" and "young" be a pre-requisite for a job?!

Ideal candidate must think out of the box.
Yeah, but this is so cliched, the person writing that phrase apparantly doesn't know how to.

Candidates must give 110%!
What?! How does that even work? I can give you 100%. What can i do beyond that?! Would you like a body part? My hand, maybe? If anything sounds like giving over an arm and a leg for a job, AKA signing yourself over to slavery, it's this.

Ideal candidate will be enthusiastic and willing to learn new things. Must be educated to degree level in business studies or relevant subject, have at least 2 years experience in sales, preferably in clothing retailers, preferably a blue chip name, preferably M&S, preferably going to the London School of Fashion, preferably female, 5'5, attractive, want to push the boundries, and have a sense of humour and be able to cook and and and and...
Ok, so maybe I got carried away. But I hate over specific ads. It's usually followed by an unreasonably low salary, or better still, I've seen ads making heavy demands on people followed by "this is a voluntary post."

This is a voluntary post.
It's amazing how many people want something for nothing. It's like the spam of the job-ads section. Sorry, this just had to go in.

Looking for a candidate to work in a newly established government department. Given the sensitive information they will have access to it is essential the applicant has security clearance at CTC level.
I kid you not, this was an actual ad. What the heck is the government DOING? Advertising for spies?!

  

 Anyway, cat is bugging me to publish, so i away i go. maybe this will be followed by more...

Introduction
Whenever there's an historic meet up, such as the DJ-Arty-Matt-Helen meeting or more recently, the Nat-Helen-DJ meeting, the others involved have done admirably in writing it up and I've grabbed the opportunity to be lazy and not write it up - no sense in replicating what's already been done..right? Right.

However, the much anticipated DJ-Cat write-up falls to me, seeing as Cat doesn't have a blog.

This meetup has been so anticipated I almost thought it'd never happen...Until the point that I met Cat, I'd been waiting 8 months and more for the opportunity, as I tried to get her to come to the Arty meetup which took place at the start of the summer in '07, which she refused over and over and over. Unfortunately.

 However! How did this meet up go?

The Cat-DJ Meet Up
Calamity after calamity. I overslept and missed my flight, getting to the airport far too late to board the flight (considering it had already left when I got there). Fortunately, I was able to get to Scotland on another flight at not too much cost to myself. The flight I missed had only cost me a fiver, so it wasn't the end of the world there either.

So I finally make it to Scottyland, only to realise that in my haste to leave the house, I forgot my mobile phone. This meant I couldn't let anyone know I had arrived safely in Scotland and further, meant I couldn't call the university of edinburgh, where I was supposed to be earlier in the day and would have been, had I not missed the flight, and arrange a meeting for another time.  More importantly, it meant I couldn't call my hotel when their doors were locked, lights off and I discovered the bell didn't work. Even more importantly, it meant I couldn't call Cat because I don't know her number by heart - it was stored on my phone. What to do, what to do.

I went to a hotel two doors away, where they were very welcoming and very understanding. They told me this sort of thing happened a lot, and advised me to think of Fawlty Towers when thinking about the quality of the hotel I was staying in. Were they wrong? Only a little bit. It was clean, but the front bell didn't work, no one was on the ground floor to let me in when i knocked, the phones didnt work, and no one could call me directly because their switchboard didn't work either. There was no internet access, not even a wireless set-up and no lock on my bathroom door (though this wasn't a problem, as I was staying in the room alone). But that was ok, because the beds were decent, the ONE staff member was friendly (she did the cooking, cleaning and receptionist work) and the room was heated nicely.

But. Whilst I was sitting in the front room of the hotel next door, I signed on to my email account to send an e-mail to edinburgh university to reschedule for Monday (which is when I did indeed meet them) and then signed on to MSN, where helen was on. Fortunately, she was able to provide me with Cat's number and I was able to call her later that evening and explain what happened and make arrangements to meet her the next morning.

On a side note, it's somewhat ironic I missed my flight to the cat meeting, because the night before I was up late on the phone to...cat. That's the same reason I slept late during the Arty meet-up, and was late to the Helen-Nat meet up. Cat Cat Cat. Blame her for my lateness; I'm a mere pawn in the game of meet-ups.

SO. I spent the first afternoon finding my hotel, getting inside, and buying provisions for the next few days (4 litres of drinks, 1 pre-sliced white bread, 1 packet of processed and pre-sliced GM cheese, 3 packs of biscuits, 1 colgate toothpaste, 1 colgate toothbrush (I needed a new one)...All from iceland for a mere £7!) I was all set. I went to bed early and the next morning came by quicky indeed...

I was up, showered and clothed by 9:00. I lazed about the hotel for a bit (Cat left a message saying she'd be half an hour late) left the hotel, found an internet cafe, checked e-mails and such, then went on to the meeting place to find Cat.

Beginnings
I actually arrived first, for once. But I was unsure of the exact place we agreed to meet, and ended up walking one street too far - which in Edinburgh terms isn't far at all, and I realised my mistake right away and backtracked, where I found Cat and her mother waiting for me. Cat told me later she was just across the street from me and saw me walking away, and said to her mum "that's him! he's seen me and is running away!!" (Un)fortunately for her, this wasn't the case and we proceeded to spend the next few days together. 

The first impression? I saw her standing on the corner of the street (heh heh) smiling from ear to ear; she sort of jumped out of the pictures and such that I'd known her from. After a slight initial awkwardness, everything turned out to be ok. We were best of friends and soon, Cat had stolen one of my disposable cameras, my bag and my passport - much to the concern of an elderly couple who wondered whether I had just been mugged. Having another camera, I was able to scare off the mugger by threatening to take a picture of her and WOW did she scurry away quickly. So much so, in fact, the elderly lady told me "I've never seen anything quite like it!" after I reassured them I wasn't being mugged.

OK! Enough about all that. What did we do? Lots of stuff. So much fun!!

We walked around for ages, looking at historical edinburgh, went to a few museums and progressed to Dynamic Earth, which I had read about in the tourist guide I had bought at the airport on the way to Scotland. It looked interesting and I wanted to visit. And it was quite good! Set up for primary school trips and young families with little kids, it was perfect for Cat, who contentedly pushed buttons and watched screens as is her wont. Meanwhile, I was happy doing the grown-up thing of reading descriptions and such. I was also happy to do the less grown up thing of seeing who could hold their hands longest to a massive block of ice purporting to be an iceberg, taking fun-photos with the models of dinosaurs, posing with the dressed up people in a dinosaur and astronaut suit, and chasing Cat around the exhibits with a camera. Fun fun!!

We had a brilliant day indeed and were able to sit and after leaving Dynamic earth, were able to find a Starbucls and chill out until closing time - a whopping 6pm. WOW!! A whole HOUR later than 5pm, which is when shops used to close in England. In Victorian times. What's up with that?!Living in London, I suppose I've taken the late-night closing times of absolutely everything, for granted. Just a little bit.

Anyway, we did a bit more walking about, and spent lots more time together. The next day dawned.

The Next Day
We went to the Glasgow Science Centre. Again, lots of fun was had pressing buttons, looking into mirrors which distort your reflection, various contraptions which send your whispers across a room without the aid of wires or strings and cups, pressing buttons and such other things. The hours went by quickly and before long it was closing time. What to do! Glasgow is Glasgow and Cat didn't want anything to do with it, so we went off to her house. I went to Cat's house!!! :-O

Cat's House
This deserves a completely new section, because it's so ground breaking. This is what I did:

1. I used the laptop Cat uses to connect to the net! =O
2. I sat in the spot she sits in to connect to the net! =O
3. I played on her favourite games on her wii! =O
4. I touched her bed with her famous star-duvet! =O
5. I saw meester biggles!! =O

Indeed. Wow! She gave me a tour of her house. But anyway. I digress. I met her parents too. They are very jovial, though I think that may have been because I was there and they were being nice to Cat and myself because of it. I'm pretty sure after I left it was back to the normal slapping-around of Cat they do to keep her in line, after throwing her down the stairs and locking her into the cupboard underneath for the night, with no food. 

The Last Day
This was when I finally went to the university. Now that's what I call a university. It made me feel like I could ride right into it on a horse and that wouldn't be out of place. It was very grand indeed. I've started to rethink my desire for an archaeology course and may move into anthropology, seeing as I'm about to have an undergraduate degree in that. Though the powers that be in Edinburgh reassured me I wouldn't be at a disadvantage not having done the archaeology undergrad degree, the phrase "but that's best suited to people with a strong background in archaeology" kept popping up, which leads me to think differently.

My next university trip is scheduled for April-May time, and I'll be going to Cambridge to check out the International Relations (and now anthropology, possibly journalism) departments. I hope to go to UCL for the same subjects and check them out, because they're based in London too. It's not likely I'll stay in LSE, despite how good it is, because the Students' Union creates a very difficult atmosphere to learn in. However, there are elections soon and hopefully that will change the spirit of the union, so I reserve the right to change my opinion...

I chose Edinburgh because it's a decent university that isn't at all political: UCL was chosen with that same reasoning and Cambridge seems ok politics-wise too. Manchester and Leeds are places I wil steer clear from. But anyway! Scotland. Where was I? Oh yes. Edinburgh.

 

I finished the interview and had a few hours left until I had to leave Edinburgh. I called Cat up and asked if I could pop by her house, which she said yes to, so an internet-cafe stop to print out my boarding pass, a train and some lunch later I was there. We chilled out for a bit and then I went on my way to Glasgow.

The difference between Glasgow and Edinburgh is profound. Even the trains are different. Trains from Edinburgh have tables and comfortable seats, nicely spaced out. Glasgow's trains have a washable floor (for good reason, it was disgusting), no tables and seats clumped together in fours. The people have way different accents despite living just a 20-30 minute train-ride away. But they're friendly. A Glaswegian girl escorted me more or less directly to the train station in Glasgow (I had to change stations) after I asked her directions. Anyway, after another 40 minute train ride, I got to Prestwick International Airport. two-and-a-half-hours early.

Pretwick International Airport
Sounds like a proper airport, doesnt it? Don't be fooled. When I got off at the train station, I became aware that everything smelled of poo. I hadn't stepping in anything, the place just stunk of cattle. This is what charecterised most of the Glasgow that I saw: smelliness. It was like being on a farm. The aiport probably was on a farm. I'm going to stop calling it airport now, because it so blatantly wasn't. Just because you have a terminal building with a WHSmith bookstore inside, that does NOT make you an airport. It was little more than an airstrip. After the cattle-smell cleared, everything smelt onion-like. Interesting.

There were all of 6 terminals; terminal 1 and terminals 2-5. Cute. The waiting lounge was about the same size as the bottom floor in the average house and the seats were shabby. But no matter. I was flying back for a mere £15 including tax. When I asked if there was an earlier flight to London the lady behind the desk as good as laughe, when I askedit hadn't sunk in just how small the airstrip was. I was still under the false impression it was an actual airport. The previous flgiht to London, she said, I had just missed. It left an hour before I got there. There were 3 other flights to different countries she offered me a seat on, but I declined. I opted to wait. 

2 hours of waiting, most of a 400g Cadbury's fruit-and-nut chocolate bar and half a book later, I was on the flight and left Glasgow, Scotland, and Cattykins behind, re-entering real life and civilisation.

 

I miss cattykins =(